


Blood and Smoke

by andreil



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andreil, Angst, Disabled Character, M/M, Twin AU, Violence, Will Nathaniel have a love interest? Who knows!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2018-07-27 10:12:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7614058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andreil/pseuds/andreil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being blinded in one eye by Riko, Neil and his twin brother Nathaniel strive to find a place where they belong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. reflection.

**Author's Note:**

> To give a brief explanation, I wanted to make this fic for two reasons: 1) I wanted a twin au so much. It had to be done. And 2) I wanted a fan fic where Neil was disabled but still strong. Disabilities are not a weakness. They also do not define people. I wanted to write a fic that encompassed and stressed that point. Hope you enjoy!!
> 
> Neil/Andrew/Nathaniel POV will all be featured.

Neil could handle many things. One thing he could not allow, however, was harm against his brother.

Nathaniel was strong, but loyal. He did not fight back when Riko raised his hand to hit him across the temple. It would not have been as painful if Riko hadn’t been wearing clean, sleek brass knuckles. His body flung to the side heavily, head hitting the floor.

Despite being held around his torso by Jean and a few other Ravens, Neil’s feet were close enough to reach Riko. He raised his right leg and slammed his boot into Riko’s face. The sound resonated around them, the smack hard and quick. Riko’s head snapped back by the brunt force.

The room was quiet.

Neil’s breathing was heavy as he stared at his brother, who was just beginning to stir on the floor. Nathaniel opened his eyes blearily, reaching up to touch the blood on his head. Knowing that Nathaniel was okay helped ease the panic in Neil, but now he was more aware of the grave mistake he’d made.

Riko lifted his head and straightened his stance. Neil exhaled shakily. 

“I’m sor-” Neil started, but Riko gave a short wave of his hand, cutting Neil off.

Riko waved a hand in Nathaniel’s direction. “Hold him down.”

Nathaniel moved slightly, confused, not aware of Neil’s actions. “Wha-?” A few Ravens came over and pinned him down. “Get the fuck off me,” he hissed, kicking his legs, but he couldn’t budge beneath them.

Like a snake, fangs extended, Riko snatched out for Neil. He grabbed the boy’s head, and Jean let go of him. Neil had no time to prepare himself, and Riko picked him up only to slam his head against the tiled flooring in the Nest. The crack blasted within the room, and Neil blacked out immediately.

A few seconds later, his consciousness returned. He was on his back, and someone was straddling his stomach. Nathaniel was screaming for them to stop and leave Neil alone. People were holding his legs and arms. Neil blinked, feeling blood dripping from somewhere atop his head. He was pretty certain he had a concussion, though there wasn’t much he could do about it now. It took him a long moment to realize that it was Riko sitting on top of him.

He had a knife, and his smile was manic.

“You know, I would have killed anyone else for that. But I like you, Neil. You’re valuable.” Riko’s words were cooing, not at all outraged, and he reached out to hold Neil’s chin in his palm.

“I didn’t mean-” Neil tried, but Riko pushed his cheeks together, cutting off Neil’s words.

“I don’t like excuses, Neil. The action has already been done. A punishment is in order.”

“Take his pinky,” someone muttered. “That way he can still play.”

Neil shivered and started to struggle. Another Raven player held his head in place and they pushed harder on his arms and legs.

“No,” Riko replied, smiling. “A pinky is not a lesson.” He glanced back at Nathaniel on the floor, staring at Riko and Neil in worry and anger. “The two of you can be quite an eyesore.”

He leaned closer to Neil’s face, and Neil could feel the press of an extremely sharp knife against his cheek. 

“So I’ll trade you my annoyance for an eye.”

Neil’s screams echoed throughout the Nest. That night, the Ravens went to sleep consumed in fear.

 

Sometime later, as he swam in darkness, Neil heard voices. Or perhaps he was dreaming.

“Take him to Kevin.”

“No.”

“Nathaniel. No one else can help you. He could have had irreparable brain damage. Next could be his life. Or yours.”

Grudging silence followed, and Neil slipped back into sleep.

 

They had two hours. Nathaniel carried Neil, who was still passed out. They had no time to let him rest. The stabbing had only taken place a few hours ago, and the stitches were still hidden behind a thick white bandage and tape that wrapped around Neil’s head.

Everyone in the Nest was sleeping besides the twins and Jean. Nathaniel had taken care of the security cameras. Jean had somehow gotten the key, and Nathaniel would take it so that Jean wasn’t suspected of helping them escape.

Nathaniel would carry Neil a mile or so to the university’s front entrance, where a taxi would be waiting. There, they would use their last bit of money to get to the Foxes. After that was impossible to predict.

Jean stopped at the exit of the Nest. He stood, strong and brave as he’d always been. With belief in his eyes, he stared at Nathaniel. Nathaniel stared back, and nodded. Without another word, Jean turned away.

Nathaniel exited the Nest, taking him and his brother to new beginnings and, hopefully, survival.

 

Neil woke up in a moving vehicle. His single eye took in the dark sky: a smooth and deep blue. He hissed in pain, an intense explosion bubbling from inside his head. He gagged, and from somewhere around him, he heard Nathaniel asking the driver to pull over.

The car stopped and Neil fumbled with the door for a second before he found the handle. He pushed it open, leaned over the side, and vomited in the grass. 

After a few minutes passed and his vomiting ceased, he heard the stranger ask if he was okay.

Nathaniel answered. “He’s fine. Just sick. Right, Neil?”

Neil leaned up and gave a wobbly thumbs up. Even in pain, he could not help the sarcasm. He closed the door, and Nathaniel told the driver he could keep going.

“Okay. Just make sure there’s no throwing up in the taxi.”

“You got it.”

Neil wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and cleared his throat. Nathaniel tapped him, but he didn’t bother replying. His head was on fire, and his eye burned. Everything in him hurt, and he was in no mood to ask questions or answer them. He did not care about anything but the bandage taped over his left eye. He lifted a hand to touch the bandage, but Nathaniel slapped his hand away.

“Stop it. Here.” He passed over a paper bag with a bottle inside.

Neil didn’t care what it was. He took it and chugged, then passed it back.

“Talk to me,” Nathaniel said.

Neil ignored him and drifted back to sleep.

 

Andrew was up first. He showered, drank coffee, and got ready for morning practise. Aaron and Nicky were next, and then Kevin. They got ready quietly as dusk began, and by the time they were all ready, Andrew was the first out the door with his keys in hand.

On the wall opposite from their dorm room were two people who looked alike. Only one was awake. One eye was covered in a bandage, and the other eye stared at the group with an empty expression. His knees were bent, and his elbows rested lazily on them. The other one had his head on the first one’s shoulder as he slept. When Nicky mumbled his confusion at Andrew’s pause, however, the second one quickly opened his eyes. He blinked, looked up at Andrew and the group behind him, and stood. The one with the bandage over his eye stood, too.

Andrew looked at them blankly. He felt Kevin move behind him, but Andrew didn’t let him pass into the hallway.

Over his head, Kevin was gaping. “Nathaniel..? What’re you.. How?”

The supposed Nathaniel looked at Kevin head on. “We’d like to see your team nurse.”

Andrew felt a smile growing between his cheeks. “That’s cute. Come along, Kevin. Practice is starting and we all know you don’t want to miss it.”

But Kevin wouldn’t move. He stared at the dark haired twins in shock and confusion. 

“Don’t,” Nathaniel warned. “Don’t walk away from us again.”

“I…”

“Oh? That sounds like an interesting story! Too bad we can’t listen to it.”

Andrew took a step, and Kevin walked out of the room hesitantly. Immediately, Nathaniel walked over and reached out, as if to touch Kevin.

Andrew struck. His palm connected with Nathaniel’s throat and he squeezed, pushing him back into a wall. Nathaniel’s hands came up to Andrew’s wrists, gripping them. Behind him, his roommates were yelling. There was an amused smile on Andrew’s face.

“What did I say?” he told the boy before him. “No time for you, not today. Leave a message and try again next week.”

“Fuck you, psycho.”

“Wrong answer!” Andrew replied joyfully, squeezing tighter. Nathaniel choked and glared in irritation.

“Andrew-” Kevin started, his voice strained. 

Before he could answer, the unnamed twin appeared in front of Nathaniel. He looked at Andrew dead on. Andrew tilted his head.

“Kevin, I’m suddenly seeing double!” Andrew said, laughter in his tone. Suddenly, he felt Kevin right behind him, though not close enough to be touching.

“Neil, what’s going on? Why are you two here?”

Nathaniel spoke up in a thick voice. “I think he can’t talk.” He coughed on his words. “Riko did something.”

Neil didn’t move and gave no sign of whether this was true or not.

Andrew laughed. “A Raven! It’s just like a family reunion. Tell me, Neil,” he started, and squeezed tighter on Nathaniel’s windpipe. “Why shouldn’t I kill your brother right now?”

There was something about Neil’s stare that was dead. He blinked at Andrew, as if thinking. After a moment of silence from everyone, Neil reached for his bandage and ripped off the tape.

From his eyebrow to his cheek bone was a deep line, accompanied by maybe eight or nine stitches. They crossed over his eyelid, and his eye was closed shut. The area was surrounded in shades of blue, purple, and black.

Andrew was still smiling, uncaring, but he loosened his grip on Nathaniel, letting the boy cough and breathe. Nicky was gagging, and Aaron was just watching the whole ordeal.

“Neil…” Kevin murmured. 

“He’s permanently blinded in that eye. I think there could be brain damage,” Nathaniel choked out.

Neil stared at Andrew, challenging him, and Andrew stared back.

“How long ago did this happen?” Kevin asked.

“Last night.”

Andrew laughed. He dropped his hand completely from Nathaniel and tilted his head again at Neil. “Looks like someone else has been handicapped by Riko! Is it comforting for you, Kevin?”

Kevin did not bother giving him a response. “I’m taking him to Abby.”

“Hmm. Guess I’ll come see how that goes.” He turned to give the keys to Nicky, then he pointed at Aaron. “No room for you, sorry.” Aaron rolled his eyes, while Nicky continued to look sadly at the new pair of twins.

When he turned back, the tension was leaving Neil’s body, as if these last few minutes had been too stressful. Andrew looked down curiously to watch Neil’s fists curl tightly, nails likely digging into his palms. Nathaniel reached out a hand, as if worried about his brother, but Neil shrugged him off.

Without another word, they followed Andrew out to the car. 

 

The car ride was silent for the most part. Nathaniel sat in the middle of the backseat, with Kevin and Neil on his sides. Andrew didn’t speak, but he tapped his fingers against his leg. Neil had his hands clawed into his thighs. He seemed pale, like he was sick or trying not to pass out, but it was hard to tell.

Someone had called their nurse and perhaps their coach, too, because two people were standing outside when the group arrived.

“Andrew, what the fuck is-?” That was the man speaking, who was tall and likely their coach. Nathaniel watched him stop, surprised at the sudden arrival of twins. “These are the Ravens?”

“Apparently they think Abby can heal blindness.”

Nathaniel scoffed. “I’d like my brother to be checked out, and we couldn’t go to a hospital.”

Abby was a woman with a nice, welcoming face. She ushered them in and they all gathered in the living room, where her first-aid kit was set up. Andrew sat on the couch and made himself comfortable. Neil sat on the edge of the couch, away from Andrew, and Abby sat in front of him on the short coffee table. 

Slowly, Abby removed the tattered bandage from Neil’s eye, but she didn’t react. The bandage and tape were tossed to the side, which Nathaniel assumed was because they were already worn out. She examined him and ultimately didn’t add anything else besides a new, clean bandage. Once the tape was placed to hold it in the right position, she leaned back.

“When we take the stitches out in a few weeks, I’ll check to see how severe the damage was. It’s possible that the optic nerve was salvaged.”

Neil looked at her, a flicker of hope running across his face, but Nathaniel shook his head. “The Raven’s doctor already told him the damage was irreparable. It’s terminal.” He looked at his brother, watching the hope jump back out as if it had never been there.

“Hey, at least it wasn’t both of your eyes, right?” Andrew commented.

In the first show of emotion all day, Neil flicked him off.

“Ah, so he speaks! Well, kind of…”

“Andrew,” Abby scolded. She stood and went to a bedroom where she rummaged around and emerged a few seconds later with some cards and miscellaneous items. Once more, she sat in front of Neil. First she grabbed a pencil and told Neil to follow its path with his gaze only. He did it with no problem.

Then she held up a card with different shapes. “Can you point out the circle?”

Neil gave her a flat look. Andrew was about to comment, but Wymack stared at him darkly. Andrew shrugged but was grinning widely.

“Neil, this is how we figure out how far the damage went or if it caused any brain damage. Can you point at the circle?”

Neil reluctantly lifted his index finger and pointed.

“What about the square?”

Neil pointed at the square.

She set down the card. “Why can’t you speak?”

He shrugged.

“Do you know if it’s a physical or mental side effect?”

He shook his head.

“Do you remember your name?”

He nodded.

“Do you remember your parents?”

Neil paused. He looked away. Nathaniel spoke up for him. “They’re dead.”

Abby looked at Nathaniel, then Neil. “Oh. I’m sorry.” Then, she began checking the basics. His pulse, his reflexes (which were, admittedly, a bit off), and his other wounds. She tried to reach below his shirt, but he pushed her hand away, and she respected that.

“Well you suffered from some trauma to the head, too. There’s a bit of dried blood underneath your hair, by your temple, but I don’t think it needs stitches.” She got out some healing cream. “How long ago did this take place?”

“About seven hours ago,” Nathaniel answered.

Abby paused, her head lifting up in surprise. She stared at both twins, then settled her gaze on Neil. “How are you still on your feet? The trauma to your eye is so severe… patients are usually in bed up to a week, sometimes more.”

“He’s stubborn,” Kevin said. It was quiet for a moment after. Neil just looked at Abby, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

Nathaniel knew that Neil’s stubbornness was true. He knew that Neil was dizzy, nauseous, and in an unexplainable amount of pain. But Neil refused to show weakness, especially in front of strangers, so he fought for consciousness. 

“You… well, I’m recommending bed rest. You can stay here, if you need to. Or with Coach Wymack, I’m sure, if you’d prefer.” No one said anything, so she continued. “How many pain meds was he given and what were they?”

“He was given two, but it was seven hours ago. I don’t know what they were called. He hasn’t had anything since.”

Abby shook her head. “Incredible. You’re doing really great, Neil.” She pulled out a bottle of pills, popped out two, and handed them over to Neil. Without any thought, Neil put them in his mouth and swallowed. “I’m also recommending speech therapy with me at least once a day.”

Neil frowned at her and shook his head.

“If you don’t want to, then say something to me right now.” Neil stayed silent, and Abby nodded. “Exactly. I’m inclined to believe it’s been caused by a combination of physical and mental stress to the brain. If I’m able to work on it with you, I’ll be able to pin-point the exact cause and maybe find a solution for you.”

Wymack pushed himself off the table he’d been leaning on. “Okay. Kevin, Andrew, Nicky - get to practice. I’ll be there soon.”

Kevin looked at Neil for a long minute, then shifted his gaze to Nathaniel. They watched each other, Nathaniel’s face taking on a permanent glare. Now that he felt relieved for their temporary safety, he was starting to feel the anger eat away at him. He was pissed that he had to meet with Kevin again, but it had to be done. 

Kevin straightened his back and began to walk out. Nicky shot everyone in the room a nervous look but followed after.

Andrew was grinning, watching Abby and Neil. “I’ll be back to have a nice chat with these two. They’re interesting, don’t you think, Coach?”

Coach didn’t look amused. “C’mon, out, out.”

Andrew left, laughing loudly, and the door to Abby’s house closed shut. Nathaniel turned back to look at Neil, and Neil was looking back at him. Neil’s single eye was bloodshot, and there were bags beneath it. His face looked exhausted and tired, and the bruises were darkening by the minute.

Nathaniel yawned purposefully, hoping it was loud enough to catch Abby’s attention. Upon hearing him, she ushered them to a guest room with a bathroom and told them that they could nap and she’d have lunch ready soon if they were hungry. She would check Neil again when they woke up to see if anything had changed. Lastly, she offered the couch incase they didn’t want to sleep in the same bed, but Nathaniel told her it was fine.

The second she left them alone, Neil went to the bathroom in their room, dropped to his knees, and vomited into the toilet. His body convulsed, and he gripped the white with clawing fingers. He retched and gagged as he spit up the last remains of yesterday’s food.

Nathaniel watched him for a long moment. When Neil was done, his body was trembling. He once again reached up to touch the stitches on his eye, but Nathaniel harshly slapped his hand away for the second time.

“Bl-” Neil choked out. His tone was rough, like he had swallowed gravel. “Bli- Blin-!”

Nathaniel sat beside him. “Blind, Neil. You’re blind in one eye.”

Neil leaned over to retch again into the toilet, but there was nothing left. After another minute, he sat back and forced his shoulders to stop shaking. Then his lips curled into a grimace, and Neil smashed his fist into the tiled floor. He leaned back against the bathroom wall, exhausted, and the skin on his knuckles were raw. He exhaled deeply, calming himself.

Nathaniel took in their surroundings: both of them, beat and tired, on the floor of the bathroom in a stranger’s house.

“What the fuck are we doing, Neil?”

Neil shook his head. He was staring at the floor, and despite the pain, despite the exhaustion, despite the fear, his expression was angry. This was an injustice.

And that, at least, was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i have no idea where this is going. my fingers wrote this on their own. feel free to hit me up @[anddreil](http://anddreil.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!!
> 
> ps i have a bunch of nathaniel/neil headcanons and their personality differences will grow more clear as time moves on.


	2. hope.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Nathaniel are away from the Ravens, but what do they do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the love on the first chapter!! Your support is really helping me keep motivated to write this beautiful AU. I have so many ideas and headcanons, and I can't wait to write about them. Also, just so you all know, because this is an AU I'm trying very hard to stray from a lot of the little events in the books. Maybe some big events will remain the same, but things will definitely be different.
> 
> Just a side note: in this AU, Fox Tower is open for rooming to athletes during the summer. That's why the cousins + Kevin live on campus.

Neil dreamt himself as a monster. On every inch of his body were eyes.

On his hands, on his knees, on his fingernails, on his cheeks. Hundreds of eyes covered him like holes. They blinked and they saw all. And then, there were blades in every single socket, and he could not see. He could not see, he could not see, he couldn’t-!

Neil woke up, single eye fluttering open softly. He did not gasp or scream. Looking beside him, he found Nathaniel still deeply asleep. The alarm clock on the nightstand said it was four in the afternoon. The light through the window was a deep, unforgiving orange, and Neil ran a hand through his hair as he remembered what had happened, and where they were. 

For hours now, his body was thrumming with something he could not explain. His hands shook, and his brain did not feel like his own. It was pain, but it was something else, too. Something that was overpowering his thoughts. Something that made him want to run. It was the whisper of danger, the pressure in his throat, the echo of his mistakes. The danger he’d put his brother in.

It was hopelessness, and it was consuming.

Neil quietly got up off the bed. He didn’t visit the bathroom despite needing a shower - the mirror was a phantom he was not ready to meet. Instead, he exited the bedroom and shut the door softly behind him.

On the couch was Andrew, and beside him, Kevin.

“He wakes,” Andrew commented. 

Neil ignored him and made his way to the kitchen. Abby didn’t seem to be around, so Neil found a cup by himself and poured some water from the faucet. He drank the entire cup, refilled it, and walked over to the couch to sit and drink, far out of reach from the other two.

Someone was saying something, talking to him, but Neil was perfectly content ignoring it. He blocked out their words, instead staring at the black screen of the television and drinking water. He thought about nothing and made himself feel nothing.

“Neil!” That was Kevin. Neil slide his gaze over to him in question. “Are you not going to answer me?” Neil didn’t answer, waiting patiently to hear whatever questions had been asked. “Are you going back to the Nest?”

Neil did not hesitate, even though he thought he might have. He shook his head.

Kevin gaped at him. “You can’t… you can’t just leave. Riko’s not going to forgive you.”

Neil stared at him. It was one thing to assume he’d go back after this incident, and it was another thing to think Neil needed Riko’s forgiveness. He truly couldn’t believe he was hearing this. This cowardice, these words that made it seem as if Riko’s actions were not worthy of staying away forever. Neil squeezed the cup in his hand, feeling malice hum through his body. Riko wasn’t the only one who was unforgiving.

“F… fu-fu-” His tongue refused to connect with what his mind wanted to say, but he forced himself to try. It wasn’t a stutter, but more like a slow attempt at reading out loud. Kevin was watching him in surprise, Andrew with interest. “Fuc..Fuck y-you.”

A grimace formed itself along Kevin’s face. Neil watched in pleasure. After a few seconds, Kevin got up and went to a different room, closing the door behind him. Neil took a sip of his drink, uncaring, and he felt Andrew’s eyes on him as the minutes passed. When Neil looked over, Andrew was grinning.

“You’ve got a great vocabulary, Neil. I can’t wait to hear more.”

Neil got up and went back to his bedroom.

 

About a half hour later, once he heard Abby come home from wherever she’d gone, Neil came back out of the room. The television was on, showing an exy game. Kevin sat on the couch watching, and his gaze didn’t even slide to Neil as he walked over. When Neil looked around, he saw Andrew smoking near his car outside.

Abby waved him over to the dining table and told him to sit. He did so, though his eye lingered on Kevin with a questioning look. Abby smiled at him.

“They’ll be leaving as soon as Wymack gets here. Apparently there’s still some conversation to be had.”

Neil gave a short huff, though he soon forgot about all that in favor of watching the Foxes nurse in front of him. Neil wasn’t a fan of her - she was too friendly, too accommodating, and truthfully it made him uncomfortable. But right now, besides Nathaniel, she was the only one he could tolerate.

After setting a glass of water down in front him, Abby sat at the table with Neil. Without missing a beat, she began explaining the technicalities of speech. Whether it was shock, trauma, or damage to the nerves and brain, it would still be possible to get his speech back. As long as his vocal cords were fine, she claimed, there could be recovery.

“Have you tried to speak, at least?”

Neil nodded.

“Did you succeed?”

He nodded again. Of course, it hadn’t been an easy success, but he’d manage to speak almost three words today, and that was enough to prove the possibility of recovery.

Abby suggested they work through the alphabet: to test both his speech capabilities and memory.

For the first few words, Neil could only mouth the letters. He strained his throat, but something felt stuck. He made the sounds of the letters, and while they mostly sounded like deep exhales, Abby understand what he was saying.

He forgot what came after _I_ , and then he forgot what came after _L_. Abby walked him through it patiently, but Neil was bunching his eyebrows the whole time. It was annoying to know, to have the information somewhere in his mind, yet not be able to immediately reach it. It felt like he was stretching for understanding, but the trauma had stunted something.

They spoke quietly, just among themselves, and when they got through all 26 letters, Abby told him that was all for today.

“If we push you too far, it could be too much,” she said. “It’s best to take it slow.”

He nodded, agreeing. It felt like his head was full of bricks, and if the bricks were removed too quickly, they’d all fall at once.

“You’ve done really well, though, Neil. Judging by what we just did, I think you’ll be able to recover your speech in a week or two. It was likely from the trauma of it, so if you’d like to talk to anyone when you recover, Coach Wymack and I are here for you.”

Neil wasn’t so sure about that. There was no one he could trust besides Nathaniel, and not even then did he tell his brother everything he felt.

Feeling a bit too vulnerable around Abby’s kindness, Neil got up to go back to the bedroom. 

“Oh, wait,” Abby said, stopping him. She stuck out a small notebook. “Did you want to use this for the time being? To communicate with us?”

It was probably a good idea. Neil needed a way to talk to everyone and to get his opinion on this strange situation out there. He shook his head, however, refusing it. If he wanted to speak so badly, he would have to force himself to do so. Using a notebook would only encourage him to hide behind this building silence, and he couldn’t use the impediment as a shield. He had to get his voice back, and he had to do it soon.

As he passed by the living room, Kevin spoke. “Um, Neil, can I talk to-?”

Neil walked past him to the bedroom and softly shut the door.

 

While Neil had been practising his speech with Abby, Nathaniel had woken up.

With exhaustion coursing through him, he stretched on the bed and reached for his burner phone, which he had taken extreme cautions of hiding from Riko within the past year. He only used it to text Jean after lights out, looking for comfort from a friend when he couldn’t sleep.

Now, a text from Jean read: _he’s taking our phones. i’m safe. contact soon._

Nathaniel groaned, tossing his phone to the side in frustration. He would do anything to save his brother, but he would also do anything to save Jean. They were best friends, and it tore him apart knowing that Jean was still left there.

Neil came back eventually, sitting beside him on the bed in silence. They relaxed for a bit, letting their bodies calm down and their minds catch up to the shock of what had happened.

Within the hour, Wymack was home. The twins went out to the living room, spotting Andrew at the dining room table, Kevin on the couch, and Abby and Wymack standing. They were in a whispered conversation, but their gazes lifted once the brothers walked out.

“Wesninski,” Andrew said happily, greeting them.

“Do not use our last names,” Nathaniel snapped. The last day had his nerves frayed. He could not stand the sound of that name on Andrew’s tongue.

“Touchy,” the blonde commented, but he dropped it once Wymack began talking.

“Do you two have anywhere to go?” the coach asked.

“Yes. We’ll leave as soon as Neil is feeling well,” Nathaniel replied.

There was a touch at his arm, though, and he looked to see Neil grabbing him. He shook his head at Wymack first, then turned to shake his head again at Nathaniel.

“Neil,” Nathaniel hissed. They had no business as Palmetto. They had no business at Edgar Allen. Their only bet now was running and surviving. If he saw Kevin any longer, of if he thought of Jean any harder, he was going to run his fist through a wall.

“Stay with me for the time being,” Wymack said. “You can have-”

“No,” Nathaniel said, at the same time that Andrew said, “That’s a no from me, coach.”

“Listen to me,” Wymack said, voice stern. He let his focus settle from Nathaniel to Neil. “You have no place to go. No, don’t-” Wymack cut off Nathaniel as he had opened his mouth to object. “No. Kevin has already told me how extreme the consequences will be when Riko catches you for leaving the Ravens.”

Nathaniel shot Kevin a dirty look. Kevin looked away.

“If you run, you’ll likely be found. You won’t find shelter and you’ll starve. Do you have any money left?”

Neil and Nathaniel just looked at him, not answering.

“That’s what I thought. There’s no chance for you out there, but here you can hide. So stay for the summer.”

Neil glanced over at Nathaniel, but Nathaniel was already shaking his head. “No. I have no reason to stay with the Foxes.”

“You won’t be - you’ll be staying with me.”

“No offense, Coach Wymack, but this is just not an option for us.”

“Agreed,” Andrew added, his voice still chipper. “Ravens are cowardly liars. Who’s not to suspect he’s here for Kevin, hm?”

“Are you suggesting my brother was stabbed in the eye as part of a plan to take Kevin back?”

Andrew shrugged. The grin on his face was telling. “I heard everyone’s quite loyal to Riko. Maybe he even stabbed his own eye!”

Nathaniel stepped in Andrew’s direction. “Fuck you, you fucking-”

“Hey,” Wymack demanded, his voice loud and strict. He put his hand on Nathaniel’s chest, but Nathaniel shrugged him off. Wymack sighed and turned to Andrew. “If Kevin’s hand was destroyed by the son of a bitch, then there’s no doubt that Riko did the same to Neil. He’s crazy. You know that, Andrew.”

“Sorry, coach. My vote’s a no.” Andrew tilted his head to look at Neil, only to see that Neil was already staring at him. The two looked at each other for a long moment, assessing the threat of one another, before Wymack spoke up.

“I don’t give a shit. Nathaniel, Neil.” They looked at Wymack as he spoke. “Stay in my apartment until you find a stable place. Get a job that pays under the table. Save up and lay low. Practice at our court. We’ll keep your identity here heavily guarded.”

“Why?” Nathaniel asked, and he couldn’t help the venom that slipped from his voice. “What business do you have with us? We’ve done nothing for you.”

“He wants new strikers,” Andrew laughed.

Wymack shook his head. “Fuck new strikers. You don’t have to do anything for me or for the Foxes. Kevin came to me, and I helped him. Now you’re doing the same, and I’m helping you. Okay?”

Nathaniel looked at his brother. Neil’s face looked stern, like he was thinking extremely hard. It was hard to tell what Neil was thinking sometimes, but it was mostly power thinking. Neil had a habit of briefly considering his best options. He never took long to make decisions. Everything Neil decided was based on the moment, the passion, and whether the decision provided him with survival. While Nathaniel was more calculating and slightly pessimistic with his decisions, Neil did whatever it took to keep him and his brother alive.

So Neil nodded. 

Nathaniel groaned, rubbing a hand through his hair. He knew that he couldn’t argue with Neil or change his mind, so there was no reason to delay the decision any longer.

“Just until we have enough of our own money,” Nathaniel said, settling the conversation.

“Have fun being stabbed in the back, Wymack. Twins can be pretty evil, you know?” That was Andrew, whose happy expression hadn’t changed. 

Wymack grimaced. “Yeah, I know.” He glanced at Kevin. “Go back. If you need to be updated, I’ll update you. But for now, they’re my problem. Got it?”

Kevin started to leave, but quickly looked over at the twins. “Wymack is right. This is your best bet. If Riko found you, he’d kill you.”

Neil stared at him. Nathaniel huffed out impatiently. “He knows where you are and you’re alive.”

“Kevin’s a special duck,” said Andrew, smile broad and vicious. He got up, ushered Kevin to the door, and left. Nathaniel watched through a front window as Andrew passed the keys to Nicky, who Nathaniel just remembered. Nicky had his phone to his ear, and looked like he was in a deep conversation, but he hung up as he got in the car. With disinterest for the Foxes, Nathaniel turned his attention back to Wymack.

“So, what? Do we leave with you now?” he asked.

“Well,” Abby started, smiling kindly. “I was thinking we could have dinner first.”

 

In the car, Andrew lit up a cigarette and smoked out the passenger window. 

He thought of the twins, who he’d have to be careful of now. He thought of their words (or lack thereof) and their body language. As he thought, a manic smirk spread across his face, and he tossed his half-smoked cigarette out the window.

“That kind of strength is dangerous, dangerous!” Andrew commented, his voice high.

“Who, Nathaniel? He’s always been short-tempered and a bit more on the wild side, but he’s pretty smart.”

“Ding dong, you’re wrong!” Andrew replied, but he didn’t explain himself when Kevin asked what he meant.

Nathaniel was quick to snap, but he had a calculating face. Cautious and aware and untrusting of everyone around them. But there was something passive about him that Andrew couldn’t pinpoint. 

Neil wasn’t trusting either, but he would obviously do anything to survive. Even if it meant being around Kevin, who he hated. He was calmer, and had a quieter anger, but there was a fighter buried deep in there. Someone who refused to die.

The dangerous one was Neil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nathaniel in quick, small arguments: short-tempered, defensive, mocking, aggressive.  
> Neil in quick, small arguments: witty, sarcastic, irritating to others, only violent when pushed.
> 
> Come cry with me @[hhitgirl](http://hhitgirl.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, or ask for twin hc's!!


	3. fight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathaniel has an interesting* talk with Nicky and Aaron, and Neil has an interesting* talk with Andrew.
> 
> *Interesting, in this sense, means slightly infuriating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'll be updating this at least once a week. One chapter takes me about five-six days, and then I have to edit. I'm just a bit busy so it's hard to write everyday. Hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you so, so much for all the encouraging comments!!

As Ravens, Nathaniel and Neil were powerful forces. Leaving the Nest did not change that.

Running was Neil’s preferred form of exercise, though he was good at most cardio exercises. Upper core and arm workouts were what Nathaniel was best at, and he was known in the Nest for being fierce with the punching bag. The two rarely enjoyed sitting around and relaxing - or perhaps they’d been slowly coerced into this mindset. A Raven routine required stamina, persistence, and no complaints. And so that was exactly how they lived.

Living on different time than Wymack was difficult, too. For the next week, they slept twice per day (once at night, and once in the early afternoon). Most of the day was spent running up and down the stairs of his apartment complex, then jogging to and from the university. Wymack hadn’t taken them to the court yet, but it was mostly to let them heal before they got a chance to practice. Nathaniel’s head wound had been nothing serious, but Neil was a different story. Despite claiming they were fine, Wymack told them to give it a week and they complied. 

Wymack was a decent man, but there were times when his booming, strong voice had Neil’s palms sweating. It was a change, but the slight tension in his shoulders around Wymack was not nearly as terrible as the all-consuming fear and submission towards Riko.

So the twins were dealing with it.

The apartment was nice, too, and their freedom was a wickedly exhilarating change of pace. Both the boys had repeatedly asked the coach if they could go out for a run, to which Wymack always gave them a blank stare before telling them they could do whatever the hell they wanted. It took three days before they left without asking. 

Things were almost pleasant, and the word alone sent uncomfortable chills through Neil.

The pain in his eye was still astounding, but he didn’t let others notice. It pulsed and throbbed day by day, though the stitches seemed to be healing nicely. One day, a piece of lint from his shirt had caught on the stitches, and his skin had pulled. The pain that day had been a bit more intense, but his facade of painless recovery was working wonders on Wymack, who let them visit the court a day early.

Bright, hideous orange and white coated The Foxhole Court in spirited pride. It was not nearly as beautiful as Castle Evermore, which was an Exy icon and a magnificent stadium. Nathaniel looked entirely disinterested in the small appeal of the Foxes’ court. Neil did not let himself glance too long, too overcome by a deeply rooted guilt that whispered of infidelity and betrayal to the Ravens.

Wymack let them in through the back door with a keypad, where they headed into rooms of white and orange walls and clean floors. 

Neil tried to look around, to observe, but all he could hear was the heartbeat of Exy, begging him to play. He looked over at Nathaniel, who had a similar fierce look.

“Do you have extra racquets?” Nathaniel asked once they’d made it to the locker room. “We left everything.”

That week, Wymack had provided them with three meals a day (he claimed it was no problem at all because this was his usual routine, and he always accidentally made extra servings). He also found them a few sweatpants, shorts, t-shirts and hoodies. Wymack claimed they were clothes left behind by his players, but something about the clothes looked new. The twins didn’t like being charity cases, but they were smart enough to keep their mouths shut. This was survival, and they simply could not refuse such necessities.

“Yeah,’ Wymack answered. He went into a storage closet and brought out racquets and gear.

Grabbing the gear, the two boys began dressing. Today wouldn’t serious, just a warmup, but their feet felt like fire, ready to burn the court with their buzzing energy.

Pride held their necks high in deep judgement of The Foxhole Court. They were Ravens, and they were taught to think of themselves with superiority and success. However, Neil felt a chill run through him as he looked over the orange and white stands and the wooden court floor, embossed with a fox paw in the center. As a recent high school graduate (home schooled, of course, from inside the Nest), Neil hadn’t been allowed to join the Ravens for games or scrimmages at other courts.

This was their first time in a court besides Castle Evermore, and the freedom of it felt liberating. 

Nathaniel seemed to be thinking something similar, because Neil could see his lip twitch in a twisted smirk. The two of them had thought their first time on a different court would be during their first freshman game - and yet here they were, practising on a new court as ex-Ravens.

They secured their gear, stretched, then jogged five laps in silence. Thankfully Wymack had left them to their own practice, staying in his office to make phone calls. The privacy made them much more comfortable.

They hit the balls against the walls and rebounded them to themselves, In perfect Ravens style, they went through their usual daily practice routine, going through the rounds normally.

When they began to practise as a pair instead of by themselves, Neil acted as a striker and Nathaniel as a backliner. They bounced the ball off the wall in preparation. Usually, the striker would catch it and their mark would attempt to steal it or block the ball from heading near the goal.

However, once the wall bounced off the wall and Neil reached for it with his racquet, Nathaniel jostled his body enough to slightly turn him.

Suddenly, the ball was out of sight. It bounced off from the wall, and while his arm and racquet stuck out to catch it, he simply couldn’t see it. That line of vision was cast in darkness, and it took him a long second to realize that he had literally turned his blind eye to the ball’s position.

The ball missed his racquet and rolled a few feet away. Neil watched it in silence.

He had never missed a rebound before. 

In astonishment, or maybe shock, Neil stood completely still as he stared at the ball, trying to understand. The only thing that broke his focus was the loud smack of a foot hitting the court walls.

“Fuck!” Nathaniel hissed as he kicked the wall. He kicked it again, hard, his body thrumming with a very visible anger. “Fuck him. Fuck him! I’ll kick his goddamn teeth in and gouge his eyes out - let’s see how he likes it.”

Neil watched his brother in an unnaturally calm state. When Nathaniel took a second to exhale out sharply, Neil poked him with his racquet and then pointed it at the ball. With a sigh, his brother picked up the ball and they restarted the play. Neil was a bit shaky in one-on-one, and he missed the ball a few more times, but this is why he’d been so eager to practice.

Loss of senses could not hold him back from this game. He would never let Riko win.

 

A few days later, Nathaniel got a job at a family-owned coffee shop in town. They needed a quick, part-time hire, and they were kind and trusting enough to hire him without any background checks. Every week, he’d get his hours paid in cash rather than check, leaving him invisible to the watchful Moriyama eye.

Despite his hovering sour mood, Neil’s demented positivity was keeping him somewhat calm as the days passed. He’d feel the anger burst through him every now and again, but for the most part he tried to keep it together.

Nathaniel watched one of the owners walk into the back, leaving him alone at the register. There were two owners, an elderly, dainty couple. So far, Nathaniel had no opinions about them, but their welcoming nature had already become slightly suffocating.

The doorbell chimed happily as someone entered. Annoyingly enough, is was Nicky and Aaron. Nathaniel welcomed them with an unfriendly stare. 

“Nathaniel!” Nicky greeted, his tone excited. That jolly nature made the boy frown more, disturbed by Nicky’s excessive spirit. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

“That’s how I preferred it.”

“Aw, don’t be like that. This place is so good. We come here at least twice a week. Right, Aaron?” Nicky looked over at the blonde, who was reading the menu above.

“Mm.”

“Aaron loves their espresso,” Nicky told Nathaniel, as if it were some huge secret.

“Interesting,” Nathaniel returned, his voice flat.

It wasn’t that he was always rude. It wasn’t even that he disliked Nicky, or even really Aaron. But he didn’t want to be here, in this coffee shop, at Wymack’s, in Palmetto. His predicament was eating away at any social friendliness he had left. His bitterness left him unable to play nice.

Nicky didn’t seem to mind, though. They ordered and Nathaniel began making their drinks. As Nicky kept talking to him, the owner, Ed, came out.

“Do you know these boys?” Ed asked, his voice croaking and slow.

“Uh, not real-”

“Yeah!” Nicky answered, smiling kindly at the owner. “He’s a good friend of ours.”

Ed gave Nathaniel a pat on the back (of which he tried not to flinch), then indicated towards a table. “Why don’t you take a break to give them company, huh?”

“Oh, no, that’s okay-”

“Go on, I’ll make the drinks,” Ed said, and his voice sounded final. Nathaniel stepped away from the espresso machine, looking from his boss to the two cousins. When he felt like there was nothing else that could be argued, he stepped around the cabinet to go sit at a table. Nicky followed without question, and Aaron followed with reluctance.

When no one spoke for a too-long second, Nicky looked at Nathaniel nervously. “So. Uh. Are you enjoying your stay at Wymack’s?”

Nathaniel felt a sarcastic reply on his tongue, but he held it back and shrugged instead. “It’s okay.”

“How’s Neil?”

Nathaniel frowned. “I’m not sure.”

Aaron rose a brow. “You’re not sure how your twin brother is doing?”

“Yeah, and I’m sure _you_ can read Andrew’s mind.” Nathaniel’s retort dripped in sarcasm.

Aaron rolled his eyes, but sat up straight when Ed brought over his espresso in a tiny mug. Immediately, Aaron began drinking. Nicky sipped on his own iced coffee.

It wasn’t that Nathaniel couldn’t read Neil. Neil’s behavior was usually pretty easy to decipher, and he almost always understand what Neil was feeling. They had an understanding of one another that didn’t work on anyone else. These last few days, however, it had grown increasingly hard to tell what Neil was feeling. Especially because he still couldn’t fully speak.

It took him a minute to realize Nicky was talking to him.

“- ya know?”

“Sorry, what?”

“If you went to Palmetto! It would be so awesome. You can even join the Foxes if you wanted to. The upperclassmen would love you guys.”

Nathaniel stared at him. “That’s not really funny.”

Nicky blinked, but didn’t reply. Aaron answered instead. “I’m pretty sure he meant it. Nicky’s unfortunately immune to tension.”

“You don’t seriously think I would go to Palmetto, do you?” Nathaniel asked, looking at Nicky in slight confusion. No one else had made the suggestion because it was obvious that they wouldn’t be staying. It was odd to have such a hopefully serious proposition.

“Um. No, I guess?” Nicky drank from his coffee. “But I do think you would like it. If you did stay, I mean. Not that you would… but if you did.”

“Well. Okay.” There was a pause as Nicky and Aaron sipped their drinks, as if avoiding the now awkward conversation. Unable to handle the seemingly long silence, Nathaniel asked in his good-employee voice, “Are the drinks good?”

“Yeah!” Nicky replied, perking up. Then he spent the next few minutes talking about this coffee shop, and that he was glad Nathaniel was working here. They left within ten minutes of their entrance, and Nathaniel sighed leisurely once they left. He got his phone out of his pocket to see if Jean had contacted him, sighed in annoyance when he saw there was nothing, and went back to work.

 

Back at Wymack’s apartment, Andrew and Kevin visited. Unfortunately, Neil was there at the moment, too.

It was difficult to understand their goal, and really, Neil didn’t care about trying to decipher it all. He was perfectly content in his own space, with thoughts occupied by exy and speech therapy. He’d been doing much better with Abby, and could now easily speak three to four words at a time without struggling. His throat felt tight and sore when he forced out full sentences, though, and Abby encouraged him not to force himself.

Like any other spare time spent in Wymack’s home, Neil was watching an exy game with the coach on the big screen. When Kevin and Andrew came, they joined them on the couch to watch. Uncomfortably enough, Kevin quickly became engrossed with the television while Andrew kept his attention on the wall. 

It was as if he was purposely not watching. Like a move of rebellion. 

When one team on the screen called a break, Wymack’s phone rang. He looked at it, stood, and excused himself into his bedroom. Neil fidgeted, suddenly feeling hot.

Somehow predictable yet unpredictable all at once, Andrew turned his gaze to Neil.

“So,” he started, and Neil already didn’t want to hear it. “How’s your game of house?”

“Good,” Neil said, and despite Abby’s warnings not to push his voice, he felt his tongue heavy with sarcasm. “We’re having a tea party at four.” The longer the sentence ran, the more croaky and raw it sounded, but the words were still comprehensible.

Andrew laughed, but it heavily lacked actual humor. “You know what I think?”

“Don’t care.”

Without pause: “I think your speech impediment was a defense. I think you can speak just fine, but you don’t want to. If you can’t speak, you can’t take responsibility, right? You know it’s your fault that your brother isn’t with the Ravens anymore, but you don’t know how to apologize. So you purposefully don’t speak. It’s kind of pitiful.”

Neil didn’t bother with a response. Something about these accusations struck him bullseye in the heart, but he didn’t want to feed his own anger.

“Or,” Andrew continued, his tone dismissive and light. “This could all be a facade to get Kevin back. Or, oh, I know! Nathaniel probably told Riko to stab you. Twin drama! Very dramatic.”

And the words were barely out before Neil was raising a fist. Something about his brother’s name spoken in such a derogatory manner made Neil see blaring red.

Just as he raised a hand to fight, Kevin grabbed his wrist. The taller male opened his mouth as if to tell him to calm down, but Neil’s reflexes were sharp. He used his free hand to snap Kevin right in his windpipe, making Kevin cough out in pain.

Immediately, Andrew’s hand was in Neil’s hair, yanking a fistful of those dark strands. Neil gasped sharply, and then there was a sharp point pressed into the fragile skin of his throat. He had no time to think, only running on impulse, and Neil let his elbow fly back into Andrew’s stomach, pointed and hard. 

The second Andrew slightly loosened his grip, Neil flung himself off the couch. He fell on the dark brown wood, his feet already moving to press him off the ground.

Before Neil could find his balance to stand, someone was wrapping their arms around him and picking him up, his back to their chest. With only one eye to see out of, he couldn’t process who was touching him. 

The panic of the thought set his skin on fire, and without a moment to spare, he went into a frenzy. His hands clawed and his feet kicked. The sounds of his struggles were emitted, but he didn’t scream. He was done screaming for others. He was distantly aware of a strong voice telling him to ‘calm the fuck down’. Sharp exhales burst through him and he fought until the person holding him let go. He spun around and pushed them, taking one, and then two steps back.

The whole spat had barely been seconds long. Wymack stood in front of him, his hands up, indicating obedience. Andrew was still on the couch.

“Oh,” Neil said, breath ragged.

Wymack looked at him for a stretched second. When it passed, he turned an ugly glare to his two Foxes. “Out.”

With a grimace from Kevin and a bright smile from Andrew, they left.

It took him a second to catch his breath, and when he spoke, it was more hoarse than it had been in days. “Should I leave?”

Wymack stared at him. “Your neck is bleeding,” he told Neil. Neil lifted a hand to his neck, realizing now that Andrew’s knife had grazed him earlier. “Go clean up and then get some rest.”

Without another word, Wymack went back to the couch and continued watching the game. Neil stood there for a second, unsure, but ultimately went back to his room.

The apartment was quiet after that. Nathaniel eventually came home from his part time job, showered, and collapsed on the bed in exhaustion. Neil was laying with his hands behind his back, staring at the ceiling in contemplation. 

They didn’t speak about how their days were.

“This apartment is so damn cold,” Nathaniel mumbled, getting in under the heavy comforter. He fluffed up his pillow and got comfortable, snuggling up to the sheets and curling his legs. Neil didn’t bother with a reply, though it definitely was freezing.

“Wherever we go next, I’m keeping it at 75 degrees.”

“74,” Neil said.

“Hm, fine. As long as I’m not subjected to goosebumps every day.” Nathaniel shivered underneath the blankets.

Finally moving to get under the comforter, too, Neil reached over to click off the bedside lamp. 

Once the light was off and they were ready to sleep, Nathaniel shifted towards Neil in the darkness. “Does it hurt?”

Neil closed his eye and let himself relax in the company of the only person he trusted. “I won’t let it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk about our lovely boys @[hhitgirl](http://hhitgirl.tumblr.com/)!! can't wait to share more of the plot i have planned with you all!


	4. solution.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxhole Court gets vandalized.

Exactly fourteen days after his eye had been stitched closed, Abby decided the stitches needed to come out. 

This was not as exciting as Neil had hoped. His nightmares had grown to be more and more horrific, dreams about monstrous eyes and hideous deformities. Whether his wounded eye would be red or white or even unrecognizable - the possibilities left him fretful. 

At the same time, though, Neil told himself not to care. The stitches were a hassle in the shower and an annoyance on his skin. The quicker he saw the nature of his wound, the quicker he could get over it.

Abby thankfully came to Wymack’s apartment, where Neil had grown slightly more comfortable. Nathaniel stood anxiously by his side as he sat in a dining chair, Abby across from him. She had used pliers to cut the tie of the stitch, noting how the wound beneath the stitches had healed very nicely. 

He didn’t mention that the Ravens had an incredibly skilled team doctor, used for cases just like this.

She began pulling the stitches out one by one, being careful not to pull or irritate the skin. With her help these last two weeks, he had avoided any infections in the wound, so he let himself rely on her. Just for this.

“Does that hurt?” she asked.

“No,” was his only reply.

Removing the stitches was a much simpler task than getting them, so it only took about ten minutes before Abby leaned back from his face.

“Okay,” she said. Her eyes roamed his wound, studying it carefully. “We’re going to open the socket now, okay? If you have any discomfort, tell me.”

His nerves were racing through him, buzzing like flies in his ears. All he could do was nod softly.

With careful, comforting fingers, he felt Abby set her thumbs on his skin, carefully opening his eye socket. Neil would have done it himself, but the skin felt heavy and unused to the feeling of being open. 

Once open, Nathaniel and Abby peered into his wounded eye. Neil tried to see them, but there was only night sky darkness.

They didn’t have to ask if he could see them. The damage was evident, and their faces gave that away. A knife had been shoved through his eye - he didn’t expect to be able to see. 

But the disappointment was there, anyway.

“It looks like the damage went past the lens and body of the eye…” Abby paused, her tone thoughtful. “But it would be impossible to see if it the weapon went through the other side of the eyeball and caused more damage. Not unless you took the eye completely out, and that would be a process for someone much more skilled than I am.” She let go of his skin, letting the socket close slowly. “I’m sorry.”

Neil shrugged. “Eyepatch?” he asked.

“If you’d like,” she said. “It seems like your muscles around the eye are too weak to keep your socket open right now, but they might just need a few hours to get used to it.”

He looked at Nathaniel, knowing his brother would be honest. “How’s it look?”

Nathaniel stared down at him, but his face betrayed nothing. “Indistinguishable,” he said after a bit of thought. “I can’t see your iris and pupil at all. It’s all white.” He pointed his index over his own eye, drawing a vertical line over his eyelid. “There’s a definite cut right in the center.” He looked over at Abby. “Will that cut heal over time?”

Abby looked back at Neil’s closed eyelid, likely remembering what the eye had looked like. “I’m really not sure. I haven’t dealt with many eye wounds like this…”

There were a few minutes of silence before Neil stood up. Wymack stood a few feet away, not curious and not evasive. For that, Neil was oddly thankful. He’d lived his whole life with everyone surrounding him and pressuring him in the Nest. But Wymack seemed content to not know what his eye looked like. He seemed to understand those boundaries and respect them.

Feeling weird for some reason, Neil said, “I’m gonna nap.”

Nathaniel nodded, knowing he had to give his brother room. 

“Okay,” Abby said. “If you have any questions when you wake up, though, I’ll be here. Wymack and I are going to cook a big dinner for you guys.”

Neil nodded and took a step towards their room, but turned back to look between Wymack and Abby. These two people who knew nothing about the boys except that they were Ravens. One who was helping Neil heal, and one who gave the boys a place, food, and clothes.

He fumbled with the bottom hem of his t-shirt. “Thank you,” he replied. And with that, he went back to the room and gently shut the door.

When Neil woke up later that night feeling lethargic, the four of them had pasta and chicken and bread. The meal was somehow healing. It’s not that he felt any less pain than before, and the meal certainly didn’t stop his slowly climbing panic at the idea of partially losing sight, but he felt contently full. The food was delicious, and the conversation wasn’t forced.

After dinner, Wymack passed him a black eye patch. The strap was made of cotton, and the patch had ingrained, aimless designs that were barely noticeable. Neil looked up at him in question.

“I remembered I had it lying around. Use it for now.”

The eyepatch was very obviously a new purchase. Neil opened his mouth to refuse.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Wymack told him, and turned around before Neil could say anything else.

That night, Neil went to sleep feeling slightly better than he had in the last two weeks.

 

The rest of the summer went by smoothly. Kevin was too busy practising, and Andrew was too busy following Kevin around. Neil ran everyday and occasionally practised alone when Nathaniel worked. Everyone attended to their own errands, and they were all much happier that way.

The coffee shop was becoming a big part of his routine, and the normality of it was startling. Nathaniel had considered quitting several times, but when he looked at the faces of his managers, he could never do it. They were disgustingly sweet, and he did not appreciate the feeling that he owed them something. But he stayed.

Before the twins knew it, summer was coming to an end. They had not seen the Foxes much this summer, but they kept practising at the court every time there was a chance. Wymack let them stay without question. Every time Nathaniel asked if they should leave, Neil just shrugged, and they both would give no suggestions to solve their bind.

The topic had merely been ignored, and no one seemed to mind.

As the summer end neared, though, the conflict was coming to a rise. Nathaniel had earned enough money to get them somewhere, anywhere, but he didn’t know what they would do after that. The twins were quick on their feet, but they had never been on the run before.

_Would they survive?_

Eventually, the two had agreed to leave before the Palmetto semester began. That way, they would be out of the coach’s way when his busy Fox season began.

It was a week before classes started, on the last Monday of summer. Nathaniel was walking back from work in the late afternoon. The sun was on the horizon, mid-set, and he was soaking in the day’s last sunlight. 

When he began his descent up the stairwell to Wymack’s apartment, he found Wymack and Neil bounding down the steps. They almost ran into each other, and Nathaniel grabbed the railing to steady himself.

“Where’re you guys rushing off to?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in blatant curiosity.

“Court,” Neil said.

“C’mon,” Wymack told him, grabbing Nathaniel’s arm to turn him. With that, he was heading down the stairs with the other two, and they piled into the coach’s car.

It took them less than five minutes to make it to the Foxhole Court. The car ride had been silent, only accompanied by a tense air. Something bad or urgent had obviously required their immediate attention, and Nathaniel knew it was better to see it than question it.

When they got there, Andrew’s car was already parked. Wymack took them to the back door like he always did and typed in the keypad code. Once they were there, it wasn’t hard to notice what had happened.

Along the walls were graffitied words, painted in black, messy spray paint: ‘I SEE YOU.’

Over and over again, the words spilled across the walls, shifting between sizes. The orange and white paint was ruined, and would definitely have to be painted over.

Wymack looked more inconvenienced than angry. The cousins and Kevin were already lounging in the lobby, talking about the vandalization. 

“I didn’t realize they were that crazy,” Nicky was saying.

“Really?” Aaron said, sounding incredulous. “He broke Kevin’s hand and stabbed Neil in the eye, but you didn’t expect graffiti on the walls?”

Nicky looked at his lap. “Point taken.”

Neil was frozen in his spot, staring at the walls, his single eye roaming the words in their ominous promise. Only then did it hit Nathaniel.

This was not a threat to the Foxes. This was a threat to the twins.

Andrew stood, looking bored. “Let’s see the biggest present, hm?”

They followed him out to the court. At first, nothing seemed different. As they got inside the court walls, though, there were clear words over the Foxes’ paw in red-splattered spray paint.

FOUND YOU.

Suddenly, Nathaniel couldn’t breathe. He felt his chest tighten, and the nausea curled in the pit of his stomach. His inhales and exhales became uneven and panicked, and he took a step back.

Neil walked over to him and pinched his arm. Nathaniel looked at his brother with wide eyes.

“If we don’t leave now, he’ll kill us.”

Neil shook his head, but bit his lip. It was obvious that they would be dead soon - there was no arguing that.

“He’ll kill us, Neil. They’re probably watching our every move. We can’t run anymore. We’re dead, Neil, we’re dead, we’re -”

Neil pinched his arm harder. Nathaniel ripped his arm away, rubbing the wound.

There was a small pause, and then: “He didn’t kill Kevin.”

Nathaniel frowned and glanced at Kevin, who was also frowning. “So?”

“Kevin ran away, too.”

“Kevin’s different. He’s famous, and it would be harder to cover that up. No one knows us, Neil.”

Neil shook his head urgently. “We can change that.” Without giving anyone pause to think about what he was suggesting, Neil turned to Kevin and Andrew. “If we make ourselves known as ex-Ravens who changed teams to the public, the press will be too much.”

Andrew didn’t give Kevin a chance to reply. “This is a desperate attempt at a last minute solution, Wesninski. Entertaining, sure, but pointless nonetheless.”

Neil stared him straight on. “We haven’t spoken to Kevin all summer. You know we’re not after him.”

“I don’t know that.”

“I’ll be indebted to you.”

That gave Andrew pause, one eyebrow quirking in curiosity. “I don’t treat promises lightly.”

“Me neither.”

The grin that crossed Andrew’s face was merciless. “Then it’s an a-okay from me. But you’ll have to ask coach. He’s the real boss, you know.”

Neil turned to Wymack, who was already watching him.

“You already know there’s always been a spot for both of you. It’ll be hard to get you registered so quickly, but I can pull some strings.”

“Neil -” That was Nathaniel, who could still feel his heart pumping through his skin. “We can’t…” He was hesitant. Scared, but knowing the brilliance of this decision. Still, his mind was racing, picking out every reason why they couldn’t do this. “He’ll always know where we are. He’ll come back for you.”

“If we run, he’ll still find us. You know that. But this way, we can fight back.”

“What about dad?” he whispered, his voice unbalanced. 

Neil stared at him. With his sudden confidence in the Riko situation, it might seem as if his brother was fearless. But it was the complete opposite. Neil was more petrified than Nathaniel. His gaze seemed as if he were looking Death in the eye. However, Neil was stubborn and a goddamn warrior, and he hated letting others win.

Nathaniel had to be strong for him, too.

“Dad can’t reach us right now.”

With a nod, Nathaniel calmed his screaming heart. “You’re right. It’s the best choice to keep us safe.” He looked at Wymack and grimaced. “I don’t think I’ll look very good in orange.”

Wymack grinned. “You’ll grow to love it.”

“Doubt it,” Nathaniel mumbled, still feeling slightly anxious.

There was a brief moment of silence before Nicky murmured, “This is so strange,” in a wondrous tone. Everyone ignored him.

“It has to be a big reveal,” Neil said, picking at his eye-patch. “How fast ‘til we can get a press conference for your new players?”

“As fast as I can get you registered and on a scholarship,” Wymack replied.

“This is crazy,” Kevin said. He’d been quiet the whole time, mostly looking like he was mulling over the consequences. “Riko’s going to raise hell.”

Nathaniel glared at him. “We know how to raise hell, too. Anyway, Foxes are supposed to be sly.”

Andrew’s laughter echoed within the court walls. The toe of his shoe snubbed at the red paint on the floor. “You’ll have to play sly on your own. We won’t help you with Riko.”

“Don’t worry,” Neil replied. “We’ll handle him by ourselves.”

“Are you sure?” Andrew asked, smiling, his voice light.

“What worse can Riko do?” Nicky asked, sounding surprised by the whole conversation. “He’s already taken Neil’s eye..”

Dangerous, hazel eyes shifted to his cousin. “Poor, innocent Nicky,” Andrew fake-muttered, sounding completely mocking. “Don’t you know? Monsters can do much, much worse than gouging out eyes.”

Nathaniel suppressed a shiver. He knew just how bad Riko could get. He’d seen monsters up close, and they were capable of terrible, terrible things. He just hoped this solution would prevent them from finding out whatever horrid consequences Riko had planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so the raven twins are officially foxes!!! yay!! thank you guys again for all of the supporting comments ♡


	5. start.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A press conference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH!! Sorry that this is..... months late. Wow. I have no excuse. Anyway, it's a short chapter but I hope you enjoy!

Becoming a Fox was proving to be a complicated, complex process.

Thankfully, the school was forced to work with Coach Wymack on the twins’ arrival. With Kevin Day on the team, the Foxes were looking forward to a watched season. Wymack hadn’t found a new striker all summer and miraculously, last minute, he’d found two. This helped their team grow in completion, which left one case of conflict resolved for the school.

However, their paperwork, finances, housing and classes were a whole new mess, one that the twins had little knowledge about. This would be their first year at college, and neither the cousins nor Kevin were helping the twins understand how college worked. Because of that, Wymack and Abby helped them as best as they could, though they knew little about the actual classes at Palmetto. For now, Neil and Nathaniel were just taking general classes, and both of their majors remained undecided. 

As far as housing, they were sorted into the only Fox dorm room that had room left. Apparently their roommates were Matt Boyd and Seth Gordon. As long as it wasn’t Andrew or Kevin, Nathaniel didn’t care.

The cousins stayed out of their business for the rest of the week, and Kevin only stopped by once to get a rundown of how the press conference would go. No other foxes except for Kevin, Neil, and Nathaniel would be present during the small conference, but there would be enough press to need a run down of the topics.

Wymack was trying his best to keep their transfer a secret, but once Thursday rolled around and he had to make the announcement that there would be a Palmetto Exy press conference with important information on Friday, the news spread fast. Neil and Nathaniel stayed inside, knowing that their chance of survive outside of Wymack’s apartment was slim.

By the time Friday came, everything was ready for their transfer yet it felt extremely hectic. Students and athletes were moving in for classes on Monday. The Foxes were all on their way, set to arrive at different times. They would meet up before the press conference so that the new members could meet their teammates. 

The campus was alive and buzzing with excitement. Nathaniel couldn’t shake the feeling that there could be anyone lurking in the building crowds, but he kept himself calm. Neil’s gaze had been flickering since the morning, roaming the door and windows in fierce observation. 

It was obvious he was waiting for Riko to come stomping in, a gun in their faces.

So Nathaniel remained tall and patient, waiting for the moment they announced their old team and new team. Until then, they were vulnerable, but when they finally reached that point, it would be safety and stress free. At least, that’s what he hoped.

Early afternoon, the twins and Wymack headed to the court. The whole time they remained on edge, but there were no distractions or problems during the short ride.

Upon arrival, the first person Nathaniel saw was a girl with dark hair - someone he immediately recognized.

“Danielle Wilds,” he commented, taking her hand in a shake as she offered it. 

“You can call me Dan,” she said, a friendly smile emitting between her cheeks. She extended a hand to Neil, who tentatively shook it but said nothing. “It’s nice to meet you guys. I’d say this is a unique situation, but with Kevin last year, I’m not too surprised.”

“So you don’t think it’s a problem that ex-Ravens are on your team now?” Nathaniel was testing her, roaming the waters. If there were teammates who were going to be hostile like Andrew, he wanted to know beforehand.

She shook her head. “Kevin’s an ex-Raven, too. For me it’s admirable that you’d leave Exy’s number one team.”

 

Nathaniel smirked. “Well, there’s no point being on the best team if it also means you’ll die. It’s not admirable of us, just smart.”

With that, Dan turned her gaze to Neil. She roamed his face, gazing at him fully, but he purposefully ignored her stare and looked elsewhere. 

“Touche,” she said, dropping the subject.

The rest of the upperclassmen came one or two at a time, but because it was such a busy day, the twins didn’t have much time to properly and fully meet each of them. Though at some point, when the Foxes were finally all together, Nathaniel heard Seth mumble about ‘damn monsters’. That was interesting.

Being a Raven, Nathaniel had grown used to reading people and learning how to manipulate them into being on his side. Dan and Matt were easy-going, which would be useful. Seth seemed like a pain, but he didn’t seem to like the cousins, which was a common shared trait. Allison was fascinating in a way Nathaniel couldn’t quite explain, and Renee was hard to pinpoint.

Neil simply looked uncomfortable with all of them, barely talking. Nathaniel guessed he was saving his voice for the press conference and merely observing the Foxes for now.

Andrew and Aaron were minding their own business, both of them sporting that ‘bored’ look. Nicky had tried to talk to Neil and failed, and Kevin looked more petrified than any of them.

“What do you have to be afraid of?” Nathaniel asked him bitterly, once Kevin’s grimace became too annoying to look at.

Kevin looked over at him, then glanced at Neil’s eye patch. “You know that there’s plenty to be afraid of.”

Yeah. Nathaniel knew. But he preferred to ignore it and move on with what they could, and Kevin wasn’t helping his technique.

“If anyone should be afraid, it should be us. So knock it off.”

That wasn’t fair, and Nathaniel knew it. Kevin had experienced the same terror that they had. That didn’t mean he wasn’t still bitter (or, perhaps, hurt) that Kevin left them, and so his attitude could not contain itself.

 

“Shut up,” Kevin mumbled, though he noticeably stopped fidgeting and stood a bit straighter.

It was only a press conference. That was all.

The press conference was not set up to be in The Foxhole Court. Rather, it was going to take place in a Palmetto University Auditorium, where media outlets, reporters, and cameramen were setting up. The theme of the press conference was the new, exciting Fox members, but everyone had heard by now that there would be a big reveal. The campus was buzzing with energy.

After the Foxes all met up, they took three cars to the auditorium. The building was in walking distance, but they didn’t want to risk being seen by cameras or, worse, by any wandering Ravens.

The university auditorium parking lot was full of cars, and the Foxes separated to find parking spaces. People shuffled into the building, so the Foxes drove further towards the back of the building, where they would enter behind the stage.

“It’s already all set up,” Wymack told the twins. “Don’t worry about anything except saying what you need to.”

They got out of the car, and Nathaniel could feel his palms sweating. 

“How long do we need to be there?”

Wymack thought to himself. “I’ll be out there first and then I’ll introduce Kevin, and together we’ll welcome the new teammates. Overall, it should last less than an hour. I suspect the three of you will be answering questions for forty minutes or so.”

Neil absentmindedly scratched at his neck. Nathaniel didn’t reply. They kept walking.

The backstage was cold and dimly lit. Nathaniel was sure that the auditorium was only meant to be used for plays, concerts, and lectures, but big audiences meant special circumstances would occur.

Kevin came up to them once they reached the other Foxes. His features had completely relaxed within minutes. Shoulders were straight, and his eyes were stern.

“Don’t embarrass us. Be respectful and don’t give them attitude.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes - he couldn’t help it. “We’re not complete idiots, Kevin.”

Neil, noticeably, still wasn’t speaking. Rather than looking nervous, he looked determined. Nathaniel chose to ignore the sudden feeling that today would not go well.

Within minutes, Wymack was heading out to the stage. In the back, they could hear him introduce himself as the Foxes coach. He told the press about their promising new season and their spectacular new players.

After talking about his belief in the Foxes and how excited he his to show off a good season, Kevin went to the stage. The press was relentless with him, asking him questions that had been asked many times before. 

The twins stood off to the side, watching the whole ordeal and waiting for their cue.

Neil turned to look behind him, and as a reflex, Nathaniel turned, too. Andrew was standing behind both of him, but his focus was entirely on Neil. There was a manic, happy smile spread between his cheeks, but it only looked malicious.

“Are you sure you’re ready to show Riko where you are?” he asked, voice charmed and light. “Aren’t you terrified?”

It was either a test or a simple way to scare Neil before the conference. Either way, Neil gave him no response.

Andrew’s grin grew wider. “Is this all worth being indebted to me?”

Neil did not hesitate. “Yes.”

Not a moment later, Wymack’s voice boomed throughout the stadium.

“- welcome our new Foxes, Neil and Nathaniel Wesninski.”

It was out there. There was no taking it back now.

In some ways, it wasn’t terrible. The two walked onstage where Wymack and Kevin greeted them. The clicking cameras were obnoxious, but at the same time it was liberating. Nathaniel felt himself stand tall, looking out at the cameras relentlessly. They introduced themselves and then sat down at the table, their microphones placed in front of them.

The first few questions weren’t bad. “What’s your Exy experience?” and “How did you decide on the Foxes?” They answered with partial truths, painting a picture of wanting to join the Foxes rather than needing to. After about five minutes of harmless questions, someone dared to ask.

“What happened to your eye, Neil?”

Nathaniel looked over at his brother, who was beginning to slightly sweat on his forehead. There was a pause as they waited for Neil’s answer. Nathaniel opened his mouth to answer instead, but Neil finally spoke.

“I-I got hu… hurt on my o-old team.” His eyebrows were furrowed as he concentrated on getting out the sentence. His speech had been perfect all day, but the stress had obviously made it more prominent.

“What was your old team?”

Nathaniel replied, “That’s irrelevant,” but Neil answered right over him.

“The Ravens.”

The media burst at the sudden information. The clacking of laptop keyboards and the clicking of cameras was all that could be heard beside the shouted questions. Kevin was glaring at Neil.

The first question Nathaniel could hear was: “Why haven’t we heard of you?”

He answered, “We were going to debut with the team this year as freshmen.”

“Why aren’t you on the Ravens anymore?” someone shouted.

Nathaniel leaned forward to answer as if he had been expecting this topic to be covered. “My brother and I admire Kevin Day. We realized this summer that we wanted to play with him during our first year of college exy.”

Another shouted, “How does Riko Moriyama feel about your transfer?”

“He’s understanding and supportive of our decision,” he said. The lie felt heavy on his tongue.

“Does Neil’s injury have anything to do with your transfer?” someone asked.

Nathaniel did not let his cool expression shift. “No.” He didn’t say anything further.

“Neil, how do you expect to play with partial sight?”

Neil cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with the question. He had come into this press conference so confident, but the abundance of questions thrown at them had clearly made him hesitant about how to answer. His trouble with hitting the ball was also probably a reason for his discomfort.

Before he could reply, someone else asked, “Will you be able to play well with your injury?”

Neil’s jaw clenched. Nathaniel knew that expression - his brother was growing more irritated, meaning his attitude would come out any minute. He opened his mouth to jump in, but Neil cut him off.

“Are you implying that I can’t play well because of my disability?”

The interviewer gaped. No one had expected that cold tone, especially when Neil had been stuttering just a few moments ago.

“N-No, I didn’t mean-”

“I can play just fine. Sight is not my only sense. Next question.”

Kevin had a deep frown, obviously pissed off by Neil’s attitude, but Wymack and Nathaniel had small smiles. It made a statement: that the new members of the Foxes would not be pushovers, nor would they be weak. It was exactly how they wanted to come across.

The rest of the press conference went fairly well. Detailed questions about the season were pointed at Wymack, and the twins answered a few more questions about their positions and abilities.

When it was over, the twins walked off stage with gleaming eyes.


	6. owe.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew claims what Neil owes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have said it before, but I want to reiterate that the events in this fic will be very canon-divergent because of the circumstances. The timeline may also be very different. However, some of the _bigger_ tfc plots will still likely appear.
> 
> Also, thank you so much for the encouraging comments!!

“Aren’t you Nathaniel Wesninski?”

“No, I have no idea who that is.”

Nathaniel walked out of his last class of the day without turning back. He had been getting questions like this all Monday, but he was too preoccupied with his own stuff to care about the stares and the curiosity of his fellow classmates.

Neil and Nathaniel were getting by well so far, considering they were both not the friendliest. Their roommates weren’t too bad and they had most of their classes together. What was truly giving him trouble was the vast largeness of the school, the complexity of college, and the lurking feeling of Riko at his back.

While Neil’s speech was doing remarkably well, he had a note from the school about his condition, which meant the professors never forced him to speak. With that benefit, Neil didn’t bother opening his mouth during class. While their classmates asked them questions, Neil saved his voice and Nathaniel blatantly ignored them. With only one day of classes down, the twins has already gathered a reputation of being standoffish. 

The twins had split up earlier. Most of their classes were together, but they had one that was separate. They had agreed to meet at the cafeteria for a late lunch.

Since his class was relatively close to the main college commons, and Nathaniel went inside first, looking around curiously. With their meal plans, they would likely be eating here every afternoon after class. 

“Nathaniel!” someone shouted, and he turned to find some of the other Foxes already at a table. 

It was Matt who had called out. The table only had Matt and Allison, which made him feel much more comfortable joining. Dan and Renee were too sweet, and Nathaniel was still unsure how he felt about Seth.

“Where’re the others?” he asked, setting his backpack into a seat.

“Renee has class, Seth finished earlier, and Dan is at the court,” Matt told him, shoving food into his mouth. “What about Neil?”

Nathaniel sat down, observing the dining hall. It was mostly athletes and freshmen. “I think he’s on his way.”

“Doing well?”

“We’ll see.”

Allison lifted her head, swallowing a bite of salad. “You worried?”

“About what?” Nathaniel said.

“Neil.”

Nathaniel just shrugged, unwilling to share anything so soon. “Not really.”

But he was worried. Being separated from him so soon after their press conference made him more anxious than anything else. The twins were disaster magnets, but Neil had a particular way of finding trouble. He said nothing of it, though.

“Hm,” Allison replied. Her blonde hair was straight and long. Gold rings encased her fingers, but she only wore athletic wear. Leggings and a pink tank top. She dressed simply, yet looked better than most.

Nathaniel frowned. “What?”

“You’re worried,” she said.

He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t realize I was at lunch with a psychologist.”

“It’s the reason I’m always winning bets.”

“Well okay, Dr. Phil. But despite what you’re saying, I know Neil can take care of himself.”

Allison scoffed and Nathaniel narrowed his eyes at her. 

Matt was grinning. “She’s always like this.”

“I could tell,” Nathaniel said. Yet, he wasn’t entirely annoyed. He didn’t feel threatened by their presence, which meant he was as relaxed as he could get.

“So,” Matt continued, swallowed the bite of hamburger. “How’re classes?”

“Fine, beside the never-ending questions.”

“Questions?” Allison asked.

“From our classmates. About Neil and I.”

“Ah.” That was an understanding hum from both of them.

“Student’s like gossip,” Matt said.

“They should mind their own business.”

Allison snorted. “Amen to that.”

 

 

Earlier that day, when Nathaniel and Neil finally had a separate class, Neil found himself in college algebra. He was quietly excited. Math was one of this better subjects, and this was his first class on his own. For now, he didn’t think he had to worry too much about Riko, so he felt slightly content.

That was, until he saw Andrew shared his class.

Neil frowned at him. It was a large lecture hall, and a lot of the seats up front were taken. He didn’t want to sit by his teammate, but he also didn’t want to sit by any stranger. 

In the end, Neil moved himself near the back, a row in front of Andrew. Which was probably a mistake, as Neil could feel Andrew’s gaze on him throughout the whole introduction to the course. Taunting, probably. Neil ignored it, focusing on the class requirements and expectations.

It ended a few minutes early, and Neil tried his best to maneuver himself away from wherever Andrew was, hoping to avoid a run in. However, the sea of students spilling out the classroom was too crowded, and Neil didn’t feel particularly good about joining the tight squeeze. After a few seconds, he was able to join the remaining last students to exit the classroom.

Predictably, Andrew was somehow already out of the room. He was standing off to the side of traffic, smiling with sharp teeth. Neil sighed and made his way over.

“Look at us, teammates and classmates! Who knew general studies could be so much fun?”

Neil gave him a flat look.

Andrew continued. “You owe me in exchange for staying. I’m here to collect.”

Neil felt goosebumps on his neck. “Have you decided, then?”

“Not here.” With that, Andrew turned on his heel and walked out of the building. Neil felt uncomfortable, but there was really nothing else to do besides follow him. They walked closer to the dining hall but stopped outside near a bench. Andrew sat, still smiling, and looked up at Neil expectantly.

“I’d rather stand,” Neil said.

Andrew hummed and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it as he spoke. “Do you rebel just for the hell of it, Neil? Seems like a habit of yours.”

Neil only blinked.

“Right, right,” Andrew continued. “I bet you’re wondering if you sold your soul to the devil.”

“I’m sure I have.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Andrew inhaled, looked at his cigarette as if he were bored of it, and tossed it to the floor. “See, Neil, I’ve heard Raven’s are good at manipulating, and I don’t think it’s unfair of me to find you untrustworthy.”

Neil looked Andrew head-on and said, clear as day, “I’ll never go back to him.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Loyalties can change - maybe they never changed in the first place.”

“You like making stories up in your head, huh?”

Andrew grinned. “Is it so weird? Your father’s a mobster, your old teammate scooped your eye out for his own sadistic enjoyment, and you ran away to another team last minute. Your life is just full of possibilities.”

Neil stayed silent. He couldn’t really argue.

“Tell me this, Neil. How can I trust you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“No, but I’ve got an idea.” Andrew stood up, coming closer. Neil refused to move. “From now on, I’m taking your weekends.”

Neil’s eyebrows rose. He wasn’t expecting that. “How so?”

Andrew lifted his hand to his mouth, then seemed to remember that he had discarded his cigarette. “Well, I figure your weeks will be too busy to meet with Riko.”

Neil opened his mouth, but Andrew kept speaking. “With classes, homework, and practice, there’s no way you’d have the time to do whatever it is you’re here to do. So that only leaves the weekends.” He tilted his head at Neil. “And you’ll spend them in my line of sight.”

“Every weekend?”

“Mm-hm.”

“And then you’ll trust me?”

“No. But I can watch you, at least.”

Neil had nothing to hide. He found it frustrating that his pain was apparently not ‘believable’ enough, but he understood the distrust. Riko would do anything to get what he wanted. He would even send spies. For some reason, the thought made Neil’s eye ache, and he absentmindedly lifted a hand to the eyepatch.

“Fine,” he said. “I told you I owed you, and I won’t go back on my word.”

“Great!” Andrew exclaimed. “Look at us, getting along so well.”

“Is that all?” Neil’s patience was running thin.

“One more thing. Your brother is not included in this bargain, unfortunately. He hasn’t promised me anything.”

“Then what do you want?”

“Convince him to give me just one weekend. This Saturday we’re going out.”

 

 

 

Neil walked into the dining hall, exhausted, and immediately spotted his brother.

“You’re late,” Nathaniel noted.

“I had a run-in with another twin.”

“Ah, the monsters,” Allison said. Neil wondered how Nathaniel had come to sit with Allison and Matt, but he didn’t bother asking. “A sure way to ruin your day.”

Neil set down his bag. “Have you eaten?” he asked his brother.

“No, I was waiting for you.”

The two got up and went to the buffet-style food stands, picking out a fairly boring dinner. Nathaniel came up beside Neil, putting fries onto his plate.

“What did Andrew want?”

Neil looked at the fruits before deciding he would eat a bit of it all. “We have to go out to a club with him this weekend.”

“We don’t have to do anything.”

“He let us stay.”

“That doesn’t mean we have to follow his every order.”

Neil put down the pair of tongs he was holding and looked at his brother. “This will not be a repeat of the Ravens. I do not follow anyone’s orders. But I do owe Andrew, so I’m going. And I know you wouldn’t want me going alone.”

Nathaniel looked at Neil for a moment. Neil figured he was trying to find an excuse to get them out of this, fazed by the unsettling feeling of it all.

Finally, Nathaniel said, “Okay. If he hurts us somehow, I’m killing him and we’re leaving.”

Neil ignored that and went back to putting food on his plate. He had no response for it because, in the end, he had absolutely no clue what to expect.

Back at the table, Allison and Matt were done eating, but they stayed to give the twins company, anyway. It made Neil slightly uncomfortable, as he and his brother were not used to any plain acts of kindness, so he was mostly quiet throughout the meal.

The first practice that night was a bit of a disaster. It was clear that everyone had a problem with someone else. Dan, Matt, and Renee seemed to be the only ones who didn’t care much for the dramatics of their teammates.

No one got along that well. Andrew barely tried, Aaron sneered, Seth yelled profanities, Kevin rolled his eyes and scolded everyone, Nicky made jokes, and Allison was sarcastic.

Nathaniel was not a positive addition to the team with his similar attitude. Nonetheless, Neil was sure that their skills would help strengthen the Foxes. It just might take a long, long time.


	7. truth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LISTEN my excuse for posting so sporadically is that I'm about to graduate my fourth year of college and it's,,, busy. ANYWAY I LOVE YOU GUYS thank you for the support even when I'm slow!!!

“Ugh, practice has been kicking my ass,” Allison said, stretching her arms above her head. “My knees are so damn wobbly.”

“That’s what you get for sitting on your ass all summer.”

“Oh, go shove it, Nathaniel.”

Nathaniel grinned and slapped her on the shoulder before heading to the boy’s locker room. He and Allison had been hanging out throughout the first week of classes, easily becoming friendly through their quick wit, thick sarcasm, and refusal to back down. No one really cared about their budding friendship, though Seth had made it obvious he found the two frustrating. ‘It’s like speaking to two of the same person,’ he had said.

It was Thursday night, and things this week had been predictably difficult. Practice didn’t become easier as everyone continued to struggle with teamwork. Classes were new, though Nathaniel figured he and Neil would be able to get through it. And, worst of all, there was a tension centered around the upcoming Friday outing.

That night, Nathaniel and Neil lounged in their room while Matt and Seth worked on homework. 

“Minyard’s been smirking at me all week. It’s driving me fucking crazy.”

“Which one?” Neil asked, probably just to humor him.

Nathaniel rolled his eyes. “You know it’s Andrew. Though Aaron can get just as infuriating.”

“Just ignore them.”

“Easier said than done.”

Neil sat up on the bed. He didn’t have his eyepatch on, but the scar had healed up over the summer. Still, Neil only kept it off around his brother.

“By the way,” Nathaniel added, “You’re pretty passive about them. You’re not worried about a repeat?”

“No, I’m not. I’m not going to let the issues with our own team get to me. I only have one focus right now, and it’s beating the Ravens.”

“For revenge?”

“No. For me, and for you.”

Nathaniel grinned. “You know, I like it better when you’re stubborn like this.”

“Don’t get mad at me when I’m stubborn in the future, then,” Neil said.

Nathaniel laughed and put his hands behind his head. He stared at the ceiling, content in his brother’s company.

“Nathaniel,” Neil said. Nathaniel looked over at him. “In Columbia, don’t fight. We have to stay here.”

“Neil-”

Neil stared at him. “We have to.”

There was a momentary silence before Nathaniel stood up. “Just don’t regret it. I’m taking a shower.”

 

Friday was not pleasant. Most of the Foxes didn’t have class, and night practice had a weird, tight tension. While the cousins knew about tonight’s plans, the upperclassmen had no idea. Still, something felt off.

Either way, Neil and Nathaniel were masks of calm and ease. They refused to show weakness. After practice, they showered in the lockers and went back to the dorms as expected. 

([x](http://holigan.co.kr/product/detail.html?product_no=2248)) Nathaniel was a fine dresser. He wore a white tee with a loose denim jacket, and black skinny jeans. He looked good, but not excessive. 

Neil, on the other hand, was not much of a dresser. Because he mostly owned sweatpants and athletic wear, he had to borrow a nice pair of black pants from Nathaniel. On top, he wore a tattered shirt that said ‘EXY’. In his mind, it was fine. 

Apparently it wasn’t. When Nicky came in to check on them, he whistled at Nathaniel and frowned at Neil.

“That’s just a shirt,” Nicky said.

“Yeah?”

“You can’t just wear a shirt.”

“Why not?” Neil asked.

“I try to tell him,” Nathaniel said, as if Neil weren’t there. “He doesn’t listen.”

“At least you’re wearing dress shoes.”

Neil shrugged.

“Okay,” Nicky said. “Wait here.”

([x](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e7/5e/f6/e75ef632cf3464c50d5b733648f04edc.jpg)) When he came back, he told Neil to take off his loose, lanky t-shirt and then changed it out for another. Neil slipped it on. It was another white tee, this one with rolled sleeves and odd skeletal faces on the front.

Once it was on, Neil frowned. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but… “This is a t-shirt, too.”

“What you had on was something you sweat in. This actually looks nice. Now tuck it into your pants, or you’ll look sloppy.”

Neil just sighed and did what was asked of him. “Good now?”

Nicky handed him a small belt. “Just add this and meet us in the hallway.”

Neil buckled his belt as Nicky left. He didn’t bother looking at himself in the mirror, though Nathaniel approved of the overall outfit. Neil sighed and ran a hand through his curls.

“What?” Nathaniel asked.

“I’ve got a bad feeling,” Neil said.

“That’s what I’ve been saying. Too late now.” Nathaniel patted his brother on the back. “C’mon.”

They went out to the hallway with their shoulders held high. The cousins and Kevin were waiting for them, all looking fairly bored. Nicky had on an outfit that showed skin, while Andrew and Aaron wore black clothes: Aaron’s clothes were loose, while Andrew’s were tight around his shoulders. Kevin wore regular denim jeans, and he looked the most normal. 

Nicky whistled despite just seeing them in their room. Kevin glanced at the twins, not saying anything. Aaron didn’t even bother looking.

Andrew, for once, wasn’t smiling. He looked at the two and tilted his head, observing either their outfits or their presence in general. After a few seconds of staring, he tossed the keys to Nicky and the six of them headed down and to the car.

Nicky gave the Wesninski brothers an apologetic look. “Kevin and I are too big for the back, so the four of you have to squeeze.”

“You didn’t really think this through, did you?” Nathaniel asked. 

“We did. We just didn’t care,” Aaron said.

“Charming.”

“That’s me.”

They began squeezing into the car. Neil entered from one side, scooting down, but found that Andrew had entered from the other side. 

“Middle,” he told Neil, but didn’t say anything else. Neil sighed and settled in the middle with Nathaniel. Aaron sat by the window on Nathaniel’s other side. Neil, who was squeezed against Andrew, tried his best not to brush against him. It was a tight fit, but he did not feel comfortable evading Andrew’s private space.

The music was loud during the whole ride, giving them no chances to ask questions about their plans. They knew they were going out in Columbia, but that was all.

Andrew was in Neil’s blind spot, so Neil couldn’t really watch him during the ride. He absentmindedly tapped his own knee to the beat, finding the length of the ride a bit suffocating.

They were about thirty minutes into the ride when Andrew told Nicky to stop the car. On the side of the highway, Andrew leaned out and retched into the grass.

Neil and Nathaniel looked at each other, confused, before it began to make more sense.

“Are you off your meds?” Neil asked, though he didn’t expect him to reply.

“You just realized that?” Aaron said.

“...” The twins were quiet, wondering, before Andrew got back in, slammed the door, and Nicky obediently continued.

Within another fifteen or twenty minutes, they made it to Columbia. The traffic was heavier as the streets got tighter. More people roamed about, and Nicky pulled up to a place called Sweetie’s.

“They have a wicked ice cream special,” Nicky said.

“Ice cream seems pretty tame,” Nathaniel replied, but the others didn’t reply. 

It wasn’t tame, though, as the brothers soon found out. It was clear that a few workers had something specific on them, and that was the only reason they’d stopped here. Aaron had gone up to do something, and when he came back, there was a pack of crackers on their table.

Still, Nathaniel ate a chocolate cone along with the others. Neil guessed he was purposefully ignoring whatever was happening here, trying to enjoy his time with a treat. However, Neil himself avoided eating anything, not really in the mood for sweets.

Only Kevin and Neil avoided the ice cream. In the middle of eating, a waiter had stopped by with a few napkins and placed them on the table. When Aaron was done with his cone, he scooped up the napkins along with whatever obviously laid beneath them and they left.

This time, they only drove a few minutes before getting to a packed area. A big sign outside read ‘Eden’s Twilight’. There was a long line outside the door, and Neil frowned, dreading the wait. Nicky pulled up to the front of the club, however, and let everyone else out. Neil watched him drive away, and then turned to Andrew, who was walking past the start of the line. With barely a glance, the bouncer let their small group pass by, giving Andrew and Aaron a short nod.

They walked inside, the music swelling and pulsing around them. Andrew, Aaron and Kevin walked like they knew exactly where they were going. They trailed up to the second floor, which was mostly just a balcony overlooking the first floor and the balcony. They stopped at a high table that was half booth and half tall chairs. 

Kevin and Aaron slid into the booth, Andrew sat in a chair, and the twins stood beside the table.

Aaron laid down the little baggies he’d gotten at Sweetie’s. He held one out to Nathaniel, then gave one to Andrew. Neil got one, too. Kevin was the only one who didn’t get one.

“Take it,” Andrew said, though he only spoke to Nathaniel. 

There was a short silence. Nathaniel picked up the baggie, eyeing it. Neil was quiet, watching the interaction, though he didn’t pick up the baggie that had been passed his way.

“After you,” Nathaniel replied.

Aaron shrugged and poured the contents in his mouth. Andrew didn’t break eye contact with Nathaniel as he did the same. Nathaniel, feeling the challenge, picked his up and took the contents without argument. He grinned and put down the empty baggy.

“I guess I’ll come back when I’m ready to spill all my deep, dark secrets,” he said, and went off, probably getting a drink from downstairs.

Neil sat in a chair beside Andrew. Andrew looked at him blankly.

“Sometimes in the Nest, the only way to get through the week was drugs,” Neil explained. “Nathaniel was never an addict, but he never minded it, either.”

Andrew hummed to himself just as Nicky finally came back from parking the car.

“Where’s Nathaniel?” he asked, looking around.

Andrew got up without answering. Neil, not wanting to be surrounded by the other three, followed and ignored Nicky’s question.

Eden’s Twilight was large, and the people were more than welcoming. They danced against each other and smiled at Neil as he passed. The music was a thumping in his chest, blinding his senses, but he followed the blonde hair before him.

Andrew was heading to the bar. He stood there for a few seconds, and by the time Neil came up behind him, Andrew had waved down a bartender.

“Roland,” Andrew said.

“Andrew! Nice to see you. And your friend…”

“Can you give me two dozen?”

“Sure thing.” Roland looked at Neil. “Anything for you?”

“A can of soda. Anything is fine,” Neil told him

Roland glanced back and forth between the two of them. When neither of them replied, Roland shrugged and went to grab shot glasses and soda.

The two Foxes stood beside one another at the bar. Neil turned around after a few seconds, eyeing the dance floor. At a table across the club, Neil could see Nathaniel talking it up with a group of drunk people. Always the outgoing one.

Neil felt like they shared a soul, in some sense. They knew each other’s emotions. They moved in step together. Except, they were so completely different. Maybe that’s why they worked so well as brothers. The two of them made up for what the other lacked. Nathaniel, outgoing and capable and unwilling to put up with anyone’s shit. Neil, stubborn and brave and passionate.

And the trait they shared. The deadliness of the duo. A hidden viciousness and iron will that only the two truly knew of. That’s what made all of this so dangerous. 

Neil turned to Andrew. “What do you expect from my brother tonight?”

Andrew didn’t even look at him. “I expect nothing.”

“It’s a waste of time,” Neil said. “The drugs won’t make him talk.”

Andrew didn’t bother with a reply. Before the conversation could continue, Roland came back with a tray full of shots and a can of cola. Andrew nodded at the bartender, and the two made their way back to the table. The second they got back, the cousins and Kevin took a shot from the tray and drank. Neil opened the can of soda and drank a bit from it, eyeing the club and keeping Nathaniel in his view. While Nathaniel was usually fine no matter what he took, he was still a wild force. Sometimes, depending on the situation, he could get a bit out of control. Especially if someone pushed him to do so.

After a few more shots, Nicky was up and on the dance floor, dragging Aaron with him. Neil, Andrew, and Kevin sat at the table, watching everything and barely speaking. The music was a constant thumping, a vibration running up Neil’s skin, turning in towards him. It left him alert, and despite being half blind, Neil felt like he could see and feel everything.

The second there was a frown on Nathaniel’s face, Neil was up and out of his seat, heading towards a little space between the bar and the dance floor. Neil watched, agitated, as Nathaniel’s expression went from frowning to blatant disinterest, much to a stranger’s dismay. The stranger was yelling in Nathaniel’s face, and yet Nathaniel only looked like this was some measly disturbance.

Neil had to resist rolling his eye as he headed over. Leave it to Nathaniel to relax and have a fun night by pissing off some stranger in a club and then ignoring him.

It seemed like Nicky had taken notice and was coming out of the dancing crowd, too. Neil turned his head to look at their table, but Andrew and Kevin were still sitting there, simply looking.

Neil finally reached them and grabbed Nathaniel’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”

But Nathaniel wasn’t having it. “No,” he said. “I’m enjoying my time right here. This guy’s the one making everyone uncomfortable.”

The stranger had barely paused his tangent. “Fuck you, I’ll fucking kick your ass.” His words were slurred, alcohol staining his breath.

Nicky was now close enough to hear the stranger going off on Nathaniel. He tried to put a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Hey, man, calm down-”

The stranger shoved Nicky, and his friends were starting to get riled up, too. “Don’t you fucking put your hands on me.”

Nathaniel grabbed the man’s wrist. “Stop being a goddamn dick, you drunk.”

Somewhere, a bartender was telling them to cool down or get out, but the tension was too thick. It was heavy, beating around them, and the Wesninski brother’s were not ones to let a fight go.

The stranger said, “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you,” in his drunken, angry voice, and that was it. Neil grabbed the man’s head between his palms and smashed his own head against him. The headbutt was quick and hard, but it got people reacting. Soon, the stranger’s friends were screaming and throwing punches, and Nicky was trying to find his cousins, and Nathaniel and Neil were shoving and ducking.

But Neil couldn’t have prevented it - a threat against his twin was inexcusable. If he had nothing to live for, he would still have Nathaniel. 

Neil felt his veins fill with bloodlust, with vengeance, though he wasn’t sure it was for these jerks in the bar. He felt like he was fighting for everything he’d lost, and everything he would gain from now on.

Eventually, people were being pulled apart. Andrew and Aaron were beside Nicky at a reasonable distance, and Nathaniel and Neil were panting as unknown people held them back. Bodyguards pulled them along and tossed the twins out, and their teammates followed behind in the chaos. 

It had all happened within seconds. Neil felted winded and dizzy, and his head was pounding. Nathaniel stood beside him, lips bloody. He spit at the pavement, his saliva red.

The cousins and Kevin were just watching them. Judging or evaluating or thinking. Neil almost wanted to laugh.

Nathaniel actually was laughing, but his grin turned flat within a mere moment. It looked like his rush was slowly coming down. He turned to look at Andrew, who somehow hadn’t had much to do with how the night turned out.

“Suspect us all you want, but we are not here because we want to be. The Foxes were the only place we could go. Kevin means nothing to me, and I wouldn’t waste my time here just to sabotage your team.”

Kevin looked away at that, but he didn’t say anything. Nathaniel continued, “When I’m high or drunk or dying, I’ll keep telling you that we’re to defeat Riko. That’s it.”

Andrew stared at him. Neil’s vision was still a little blurry, but he felt the same as Nathaniel. To not be trusted, after all they’d been through, made their blood boil. It was understandable that Nathaniel was sick of it.

No one said anything, but Andrew began to walk. They followed him out to the car, and eventually they all piled in silently. Neil was pretty sure no one expected the two brothers to be such an odd force of nature. Something about that made Neil giddy.

He let out a sound, like a scoff or a chuckle inside his throat, and Nathaniel glanced at him. They looked at each other and after a moment, Nathaniel grinned.

“Damn, Neil,” his brother said. “Your head’s harder than mine.”

In the front seat, Nicky laughed.


	8. interval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil spends his first forced weekend with the monsters. It's oddly boring.

“You know, somehow you two are better looking when you’re sweating.”

Neil looked up at Nicky. They were on the court and it was a Thursday night. Things had gotten a little better since their strange night at Columbia, but nothing had actually been resolved. It was just that no one had any pressing urges to kick someone else’s ass… besides maybe Seth, who was always irritating everyone.

There was sweat dripping down Neil’s cheek, and he wiped it away with the back of his hand. A thin, orange headband held his hair back, so he really wasn’t that exhausted. They were just going through a ton of drills tonight, making him slightly hotter than usual.

Neil looked at his brother, who was also barely sweating. If anything, Nicky was sweating the most out of everyone, and he was struggling to breathe.

Nathaniel raised a brow. His hand swiped away at his own messy hair. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Uh, duh. Only a few athletes actually look hot while playing. But you two somehow look good all the time.” 

“Hot?” Neil asked, confused.

This time, Allison spoke up. “H.O.T,” she spelled out. “Yes, Neil. Hot.”

The scars around Neil’s eye moved as his eyebrows furrowed. He wasn’t wearing his eyepatch, it was too annoying to wear it during practice, so his blind eye was simply unveiled for the whole team to see. He didn’t mind too much, but sometimes he felt himself wishing he kept it on.

Neil’s fingers reached for the marred skin above his eye. He touched it, stood still, contemplated, wondered. Dropped his hand.

“I’m gonna grab some water,” he said, before leaving the court.

Nathaniel shook his head. “Poor kid doesn’t know how attractive we are.”

Allison shook her head. “Your cockiness makes you ugly, Nathaniel.”

“Oh, shove it.”

Neil went to the bench to grab his bottled water before going up a few more steps. He sat and watched the others run drills. He reached beneath his long-sleeved Palmetto shirt and grabbed hold of the tiny rubber band resting there. He snapped it against his wrist absentmindedly.

Once, twice, three times.

He inhaled. Exhaled. Took another sip of water.

“Neil! Get back out here!” Kevin called, impatient with Neil’s small break. Neil went back to practice.

 

The weekend brought thunderstorms. The Foxes woke up to the sound of rain against their window panes. It didn’t stop for more than an hour here and there. The pavement was slick, puddles scattered in cement dips. 

That Friday afternoon, Neil knocked on the cousin’s dorm door. He was greeted by Nicky, who immediately grinned upon seeing him.

“Neil! What’s up?” 

Neil stepped inside without any particular expression. “Andrew told me I have to spend weekends with him.”

“Oh, yeah! Right. Well, he’s out right now. Do you wanna stick around?”

Neil looked at Nicky for a long second. Nicky fidgeted under his gaze. “Are you the only one here?” Neil asked.

“Yeah, but I was about to go meet Aaron for dinner.”

The room would be quiet. Neil nodded. “Then I’ll stick around. I think I’ll nap on your couch, if you don’t mind.”

“No, no, go ahead!” Nicky grabbed his keys and looked at Neil in a way Neil couldn’t quite process. Like an adult might look at a child. “Have fun!” he told Neil, before leaving and locking the door behind him.

Neil stared at the door, making sure Nicky was really leaving. He didn’t mind Nicky’s company, but when he slept he liked to be around people he knew a bit better. As in, his roommates or Nathaniel. But it was hard to get in a nap when Matt, Seth, and Nathaniel were pretty extroverted and loud people to live with.

The couch was a neutral blue with a single, square pillow on it. The pillow said, “Love will win,” in rainbow cursive script. He figured it belonged to Nicky. Neil tossed it to the floor and laid on his side, closing his eyes and waiting Andrew’s arrival. 

When he woke up again, it was still the afternoon, but the light within the dorm room was dim and gloomy. The rain was still going on, but louder this time. He’d woken up because of a key in the door’s lock. Without a word, he sat up and blinked the sleep from his eye.

Andrew walked inside and locked the door behind him. He glanced at Neil and smiled. 

“Look at what a good dog you are, waiting here for me!”

“Woof,” Neil replied

Andrew’s grin didn’t falter. “You’ve got such a sense of humor, Neil.”

“Really? People often tell me I’m not very funny.”

“I never said you were funny.”

Andrew set his jacket on the couch and made his way to the window. Despite the heavy rain, the blonde unlocked the window and slid it up. Thankfully, there was a screen there, and the rain was blowing in the opposite direction. He pulled out a cigarette. Neil watched him.

“Are we going to Columbia?” Neil asked.

“Too rainy,” Andrew said. “But Nicky wants to drink because you and your harmless little twin ruined his fun last weekend.”

Neil shrugged. “Nicky could’ve kept drinking if he wanted to.”

“Doubtful.” Andrew lit his cigarette and inhaled, blowing out through the window. The wind rushing inside was chilly and had the scent of fresh rain. There was thunder in the distance, a low rumble.

Neil let a few minutes of silence pass, and then he asked, “So? We’re just hanging out here tonight, then?”

“Looks like it.”

That answer was a relief. He wasn’t yet comfortable with this group, but he had promised to stay with them every weekend. The idea of clubbing every weekend was tiring, so this news sounded much better. 

“Sounds fun,” he said.

Andrew looked at Neil in amusement. “You and I both know you don’t know what fun is.”

Neil didn’t bother with a reply.

Less than an hour later, Nicky, Aaron and Kevin were back at the apartment. Kevin had apparently been in a mandatory meeting with the team’s psychiatrist, Betsy Dobson.

“You and Nathaniel will have to see her soon, too,” Kevin told Neil.

Neil shook his head. “Over my dead body.”

“We can arrange that,” Andrew said, “But Bee doesn’t like corpses in her office.”

“Okay,” Nicky interrupted, “This is a real fun talk but I bought rum, so let’s drink!” He pulled a bottle out of a brown paper bag and took little shot glasses out of their cabinets. By this time, Andrew had closed the window, but the strikes of lightning seemed closer, the thunder louder.

“Don’t get wasted, we have practice in the morning,” Kevin said, mostly to Nicky.

“Shouldn’t you be worrying about yourself?” Nicky asked.

Kevin gave him a disapproving look. “A real athlete knows how to drink in moderation.”

“Have fun with that, then. I’ll be having a great Friday night.”

“You could’ve at least got vodka.”

Nicky scrunched up his face. “Buy your own alcohol if you don’t like mine.”

Nicky gave everyone a shot and then kept a glass of the rum to drink to himself. Just the smell of it was enough to disgust Neil and remind him of a past he did not like.

He and Nicky were sitting in the bean bag chairs. Aaron sat on the floor and played Go Fish with Nicky. 

“This is fucking boring,” Aaron said after his third shot.

“But no one else wants to play with us!” Nicky said.

“‘Cause Go Fish is _boring!_ ”

“You choose something better, then.”

Aaron sighed. “Fuck if I know what to do.” Aaron pointed to Neil. “He’s too prude.” Then pointed at Andrew. “He’s too disinterested.” Then pointed at Kevin. “And Kevin’s a goddamn grump.”

“I just said I didn’t want to play Go Fish,” Kevin said offhandedly, not really caring about their banter.

“Is this how you spend every weekend?” Neil asked. 

Nicky opened his mouth, closed it, then looked at Neil in contemplation. “Yeah, I guess so. If we don’t go to Columbia.”

“You go every weekend?”

“Mhm. We’ve got a house there, but Kevin only lets us stay one night so we can come back to practice.”

“You have a house there?” Neil asked, suddenly interested. “Why didn’t we stay there last weekend.”

“Because,” Andrew butt in from his spot on the couch, where no one else sat. “Nathaniel is unwelcome there. He’s a brat.”

“You’re a brat,” Neil mumbled back in childish retaliation.

Andrew laughed, just a tad too loudly. He jumped up from the couch and crouched beside Neil. His index finger lifted Neil’s chin, and he tilted his head in interest. “You know, the second your stutter went away you became so talkative.”

“I’m too witty to be quiet.”

“Tell me something, Neil.” Andrew tapped, tapped, tapped Neil’s chin. “You worry so much about your brother, yet you’d spend a whole day without him in sight?”

Neil blinked at him, confused by the question. “Yes. Unlike Kevin, Nathaniel is strong. He can protect himself.”

“Then how,” Andrew said, drawing out his words, “Did you get this?”

And he tapped his thumb at the corner of Neil’s bad eye.

At the bottom of Neil’s stomach was his heart. He had forgotten, had not remembered, had let himself forget the cruel reality of his face, and today it was too much, too much. His eye throbbed. There was a spiral of pain inside his body, scattered with thorns, and the brush of it against his lungs made him gasp.

He looked up at Andrew to see Andrew staring back at him. Not meanly, not gently. Just staring at him, wanting answers, wanting to simply know the complexity of what he couldn’t understand.

Neil reached for his own wrist and held himself. Steadied himself. Breathed in slowly, then exhaled.

“Even the strong can be overpowered,” Neil told Andrew. 

Andrew dropped his hand from Neil’s face, said “Huh” blankly, and went back to his seat on the couch. He looked like he didn’t even remember the conversation he’d just had.

Neil didn’t understand where Andrew’s questioning had come from. What he did understand, however, was that Andrew was on meds, and that Andrew’s line of thinking while on his meds was not a line, but a curved and scattered row of dots and bolts. He had known from the look at Andrew’s face that the questions had not meant to be crude - no, Andrew had simply wondered and asked to cure that wonder.

It made Neil wonder what else Andrew thought about, and where those thoughts went when not confronted.

The silence that had appeared during the little encounter eventually washed away, and Nicky began speaking again. This time, he forced Neil and Kevin to gather around for a game of ‘Bullshit’, which Nicky had to quickly explain to Neil.

His first time ever playing, Neil won.

“What the fuck, Neil! That’s not fair… what other games are you good at?”

Neil shrugged. “This is the first card game I’ve ever played.”

Nicky frowned. Kevin looked at him then stood up. “I’m going to bed,” he said, and made his way back to the room.

“Party pooper,” Nicky called.

This time around, Nicky taught Neil how to play Go Fish, and the two played. Aaron eventually went back to his room, and when they were done with the cards, Nicky put on a movie.

Ten minutes into the movie, Andrew spoke up. “Nicky!”

Neil almost jumped at the outburst. He turned to see Nicky snapping awake.

“Go to sleep in the room,” Andrew said.

“Huh? Oh, right, yeah.” Nicky stood up and went to the room without another word. He seemed drunk and tired enough to practically be sleepwalking. 

Neil looked at Andrew. “Does that mean I’m dismissed?”

Andrew rose a single brow at him but said nothing.

Neil stood up. “So… I’m leaving, then.”

“Are you hesitating because you’d like to stay? The couch is available, but it’s not the most comfortable, as you probably experienced this afternoon.”

Neil’s eye widened. “What? No. I just didn’t know if the night was done.” A pause. “Tomorrow, then?”

“Yes, Neil, that’s the meaning of _all weekend_.”

“You’re so cheeky,” Neil said.

“Cheeky,” Andrew repeated.

“Yes.”

“Strangely childish, but I’ll accept it. Now go away.”

Neil left.

 

  
Saturday morning, he came back. He didn’t know if anyone would be awake, but he knocked anyway. Andrew opened the door. He said nothing, so neither did Neil.

They watched the morning news. Andrew drank coffee. It hit 9 in the morning, and still, no one else was awake.

“Hey,” Neil said, once the morning news got boring.

Andrew said nothing.

“What’re we doing today? After practice, I mean.”

Andrew leaned his back against the bean bag chair he was resting in. “Who said we’re doing something?”

“I’m not going to spend the whole weekend sitting in this room watching TV.”

“You gave your weekends to me. Either plan something entertaining, or get over it.”

“Is every conversation a fight with you?” Neil asked, not at all bothered.

“Apparently when you’re involved, yes.”

Neil sighed and put his attention back on the television.

This time, Andrew was the one who broke the silence - “Answer me this, Neil. Why bother going to the Ravens when you were going to leave when it got tough? Everyone knows the Ravens have terrible practices. Doesn’t make sense.”

“Kevin didn’t tell you?”

“Kevin doesn’t tell me anything unless it’s necessary information.”

Neil looked at Andrew carefully. “I won’t tell you for free.”

Andrew grinned. “Ask me something, then. I’m an open book, Neil.”

Neil knew Andrew’s words were self-mocking, but the promise was clear.

“A truth for a truth, then?”

“Hmm.” Andrew considered Neil. Neil considered him back. It was clear that his medication was kicking in from the morning dose. “Sounds agreeable. You first. Answer my question.”

Without making it too obvious, Neil’s fingers couldn’t help but fidget in his lap. 

“My brother and I didn’t join Evermore as a choice. We were given to the team by our father.” Neil paused, considering if this was enough information, then decided he could elaborate. “Our father works for the Moriyama’s and we’ve been practicing with Riko for a few years now. He thinks he owns us.”

“Huh,” Andrew said, but that was it. “You can go now.”

“I’m going to save my question for another time. I don’t feel like answering you right now if you have more inquiries.”

Andrew laughed without humor. “Good choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, i'm at [anddreil](http://anddreil.tumblr.com/)!!


	9. reinvent.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathaniel has an idea.

Neil chose his question by Sunday night. 

He found Andrew next to the open window of the dorm room, smoking a cigarette. The breeze came right by them, but it was soft and docile. Neil didn’t know where the others were, but he didn’t ask. Instead, he parked himself on the other side of the windowsill. He was a bit too close to Andrew in his opinion, but he’d rather this conversation not happen from across the room.

“I’m assuming your proximity is for a good cause,” Andrew said. He didn’t even turn his head.

“I’ve got a thought.”

“That’s a first.”

Neil rolled his good eye and rephrased. “I’ve got a question.”

Andrew made a gesture with his hand that indicated Neil could go ahead and ask.

“Why are you medicated?”

Andrew laughed. “That’s such an easy one, Neil. Nicky would’ve given it to you for free.”

“I wanted to hear it from you.”

“A gentleman, I tell you.” Andrew took a drag, inhaled, and spoke as he exhaled. “I’ve gone to jail before, did you know that?”

Neil nodded.

Andrew continued. “There was an unpleasant encounter a year or two ago. A few guys attacked Nicky. So I attacked them.” He grinned as he looked at Neil.

Neil said, “Did you kill them?”

“No, but it was close. Instead of going to jail again, I was given medication and therapy. Oh, and parole. But it’s not all so bad! Bee is sweet as honey, you know.”

“You like her a lot, don’t you?”

Andrew was still grinning as he tilted his head at Neil. “And you don’t, we get it.” Without even a twitch of his expression, Andrew reached out and snatched Neil’s wrist. “Don’t give her a hard time, Wesninski.”

“I just won’t see her. Problem solved.”

“You are really annoying for someone who has already caused so much trouble.”

Neil didn’t respond and Andrew let go a moment later. It looked like Andrew was contemplating something, perhaps his next question, but there was a sudden, rapid knocking on the door.

“Neil!” Nathaniel called. “I need you real quick.”

Neil looked at Andrew, eyebrows furrowed. “I’ll be right back.”

Andrew made a dismissing gesture. “Just go for the day. I don’t feel like looking at your face.”

Neil walked to the door, meeting his brother to see what was wrong. As he did, though, he absentmindedly touched the mangled skin over his useless eye. 

 

“Come on, you’re walking so slow.”

“Nathaniel, seriously, we could’ve just asked Andrew for a ride to the Foxhole Court.”

Nathaniel shook his head as they walked. “I’m not riding in the car with him. He’ll shank me.”

“I doubt that. Why are we going to the court, anyway?”

“I’ll tell you when we’re there.”

It didn’t take too long before the orange monstrosity came in view before them. They went in through the back entrance. Because it was Sunday, it was quiet, not a single other person in sight.

Nathaniel indicated toward the locker room. “Change out.”

“What?” Neil asked. “Why?”

“Uh, duh. This is practice.”

Neil stared at his brother for a moment before shaking his head. He didn’t bother arguing. Besides, the Ravens were worse when it came to practices, and Neil was used to a heavy regime.

Once he got dressed and went to the open court, Nathaniel was there with only his racquet. He hadn't bothered to change out. He tossed Neil the ball. 

“Okay, now face the goal head on,” Nathaniel instructed. Neil did as he was told and Nathaniel continued. “Do not turn away from the goal, okay?” And then Nathaniel walked to Neil’s left, and slowly left his line of sight. It was Neil’s blindspot.

“Nathaniel, I don’t think -”

“Sh. You know I’m to your left. You saw me walk over here. Now I need you to put the ball in your racquet and toss it my way.”

Neil sighed but did what he was told. Based on where Nathaniel’s voice had come from, Neil faced the goal head on and maneuvered his throw to the left.

“Okay. Now look my way at where you threw the ball.”

Neil turned to look. It was a few feet too far left of Nathaniel. Neil blinked. 

“Are you just trying to remind me that I’m partially blind?”

“No.” Nathaniel grabbed the ball, pulled something out of his pocket and walked up to Neil. Neil saw that it was a black bandana. “I was wasting time watching random videos when I came across a blind ice skater. They could spin and jump just like any other skater. They had a complete understanding of the ice rink. She said when she was younger her mother took her to the rink and they just walked around the rink’s barrier. Since then, she kept going and eventually learned exactly when she was back where she began. She said she uses the echoes of her skates and the sounds in the stadium to understand where she was on the rink.” Nathaniel held up the bandana. “Your balance isn’t as good as it used to be. Neither is your sense of direction. So what? Overcome it. We can find new ways to make you better.”

Neil stared at the bandana for a long time. Eventually, he reached out and took it from his brother. His thumb went over the course material. He looked at Nathaniel but didn’t say anything, still lost in uncertainty.

Then, Nathaniel said, “Imagine Riko’s face when he finds out you can play with your eyes closed.”

Neil put the bandana on.

 

Neil was in a good mood the rest of the week. He and Nathaniel practiced every morning before the Foxes’ practice began. He saw less of the monsters and focused on Exy and schoolwork. It was frustrating to try and learn a new technique, especially something so extreme. Neil wasn’t even close to succeeding his end goal. Yet, he was in a good mood.

On Thursday, he and Nathaniel were watching some movie when someone knocked. Nathaniel reluctantly got up and even more begrudgingly let Nicky inside.

“Here,” Nicky said, handing Neil a bag. “Clothes for tomorrow. We’re going to Columbia again.” He glanced at Nathaniel and looked apologetic. “Just Neil, though.”

Nathaniel laughed and sat back on the couch. “You couldn’t drag me back there if you tried.”

Neil took the bag. “Why do I need clothes? I have clothes.”

“An endless supply of white t-shirts and the same jacket do not count as clothes. Wear what we got you. It’s a present from Andrew.”

“But -”

“Bye!” Nicky left as quickly as he had came.

With a sigh, Neil spilled the contents of the bag onto the floor and took a look. There was a black long-sleeve turtleneck, a large jean jacket, and black jeans. The material of it all felt comfortable yet expensive. There were no shoes, so Neil figured his own shoes were fine.

Neil looked up at his brother. Nathaniel shrugged and said, “You’re the one who made the deal. I have no sympathy.” He leaned down to pick up the jean jacket. “Actually, I have to admit, Andrew doesn’t have bad taste. I may borrow this when you’re done.”

Neil rolled his eye and pressed play on the remote, but it didn’t stop the reality of the next day. He woke up Friday morning feeling done with the day already, but he was sure to attempt an optimistic attitude. 

Classes passed quickly and before he knew it, Neil was back in his room getting dressed. The clothes fit him perfectly, yet it didn’t reveal anything at all. Neil felt annoyingly good in the outfit. He grabbed what he needed and headed out to the room next door.

Only Kevin was ready, so he answered the dorm door. The two waited in silence, and Neil realized how much he really, really did not want to be in Kevin’s company. His fingers became twitchy, tugging at the ends of his jacket and turtleneck. Kevin noticed, attentive as always, but it was quiet for a few more minutes until, apparently, he couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“You know, in order for us to beat the Ravens, you and Nathaniel will have to learn to play with me. Which involves forgiveness.”

Neil’s fingers stilled and he looked up at Kevin with contempt. “Forgiving you has little to do with playing. I can tolerate you on the court. I can learn how you play and practice based off that. But our off-court grievances will remain that way.”

“You can’t hate me forever.”

Shaking his head, Neil almost laughed. “I don’t hate you, Kevin. I just - I don’t trust you. And I never will again.”

“Neil -”

“No, really, it’s better you don’t try to push it. And by the way - I may not hate you, but Nathaniel is a different story. I wouldn’t push him either if I were you. For all our sakes.”

Kevin looked like he was going to say something, but he thankfully kept his mouth shut. They were saved by Nicky, who came out of the bathroom to swoon over Neil.

“Every time you’re not in rags I’m charmed once more!” Nicky pushed a stray dark red lock of Neil’s hair behind his ear. Neil frowned and moved out of the way. Aaron and Andrew came out of the bedroom and they all headed out the door as Nicky rattled on.

“I mean, you have to at least give us a hint. It’s unfair that you’d leave us all hanging.”

“Hint?” Neil asked.

“Some people want to know which way you swing, Neil. Including me! See, if you swing my way, I’m gonna have to ask Erik for a little leisure.”

“I don’t swing at all.”

“Booo,” Nicky hollered, as if the answer was fake. “What a boring response.”

“I’ve noticed you’re very bad at minding your own business,” Neil said.

“Ouch! Harsh, Neil. I’m just saying…” Nicky let his eyes roam Neil’s body. “If you need help deciding which way to lean, I’m up for a little persuading.”

They were in the car at this point, Nicky behind the wheel, Neil between the twins in the back. As Andrew closed the door, he said, “Nicky,” in a cheerful voice, the word laced with the fakest joy.

Nicky looked back to look at Andrew, turned back around and started the car. He didn’t mention it again for the night.

Eden’s Twilight was packed but boring for Neil, who sat there and sipped on a soda. He’d wanted a water, but Andrew had pinched his arm and he’d gotten a can of Coke instead. Neil guessed it was too blasphemous to drink just water at a club.

When Kevin and Neil were alone at the table, Kevin tried to talk once more. “Leaving the Ravens was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. You, Nathaniel, and Jean… leaving the three of you behind was so difficult.”

“I’m not interested in your reasons, Kevin.”

“If you could just listen -”

Neil got up abruptly, making the table shake a bit. His nails dug into his palms as he felt the anger tangle around him like a snake. Without looking back, Neil made his way to the dance floor - the only place he knew Kevin wouldn’t go. Although he didn’t dance, Neil let himself be taken away by the lights, the dancing, the music around him.

It was hard to tell how much time had passed by the time Nicky took Neil by the wrist and took him out of the crowd. Neil didn't realize it was the end of the night. Instead, the rush of energy within the club had made the hours flow by fast and easy.

“We’re leaving,” Nicky explained once they were closer to the table. He let go of Neil’s arm and looked down at him. “I didn’t think you’d be so willing to put yourself in the center of all that. I’m proud.”

Neil shrugged. The others were at the table, waiting. They left all together. The outside air was fresh and the city was much, much quieter than it had been hours earlier.

Andrew looked at Neil. “I heard you threw a temper tantrum.”

“Isn’t it part of a club experience to go onto the dance floor?”

The car came into sight in the parking lot. “No. It’s part of the experience to actually dance.”

“You don’t dance,” Neil stressed.

“I also don’t go around throwing tantrums.”

“I wasn’t angry. Kevin’s just too annoying to be in his company for more than five minutes.”

“Hmm,” Andrew hummed. 

They got in the car and the subject was dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah this is 10 years late so what (me, crying: pls forgive me)


End file.
